By Stuart Shea
A Fast Outfield,
And a Chipper Jones.
(With apologies to Vernon “Lefty” Gomez)
Upton can play,
And he’ll need to, no doubt,
If Eric Byrnes out.
Sweet Lou wants it understood,
That the newbies—Pie, Soto, and Fukudome—will be good
(Knock on Wood).
Votto, Bruce, and Bailey make the Redlegs’ future bright.
But with Dusty in the drivers’ seat,
The Kids Aren’t Alright.
While the defending champs get little respect
And their city’s baseball pedigree is suspect
The Rockies are deep—and better than you’d expect.
A rotation thinner than loose-leaf paper
And one, maybe two, good hitters to savor?
This could get Uggly.
They need a Pitching ComeBacke.
A NewBourn Attack…
And Hot Towles!
Many pitchers with questions,
Position player congestion–
By now, one hopes Joe Torre has a remedy for indigestion.
Princes with Braun and wise Counsell,
Just need clean Sheets.
Health to go with wealth.
Johan and Pedro (not Feliciano)
And, apparently, an Angel in the outfield.
Rollins, Howard, Utley, Burrell, and Feliz
Will give the Phillies plenty of pow.
But can they hit more homers than their pitchers allow?
Steve will Pearce the outfield soon,
With Nady gone by June,
And Jason up on eBay.
Such teams with little hope need luck,
And divine intervention.
An outfield and infield of maybes
Could make Padres’ pitchers sick,
But Buddy Black don’t give a Fick.
So the post-Bonds era begins,
And no one expects many wins.
Thank God for the Garlic Fries.
A WASHINGTON HAIKU
Two fat first basemen
Could sink their park into the
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