Archive for May, 2008
BITING
By Stuart Shea
Florida is on the map–the Marlins are hot!
You want a Cinderella story? This we’ve got!
A star in the making with an Uggly name,
A third baseman with a Can-tu approach,
A left fielder Willing-ham to work, and
A superstar shortstop beyond reproach.
VandenHurk didn’t work and
Taylor has Tankersleyed.
But Miller’s ground opponents up,
Kevin Gregg has been the top.
And there’s no bad hops–just Badenhop.
They cannot last, these wriggling Fish,
Swimming in deep water with Phils, Braves, and Mets,
But it’s fun while it lasts, yo,
To see the big boys controlled
By Olson, Treanor, and Nolasco,
And Luis Gonzalez, who is 90 years old.
NL East Limerick
by Mac Thomason
There once was a manager named Willie,
Who drove all the tabloid writers silly.
But what’s really funny
Is that with all their money
The Mets finished after Atlanta and Philly.
You can see more of Mac Thomason’s writing at his blog, Bravesjournal.com.
Posted 5/22/08
Jason and the Golden Thong
by Hart Seely
On days when drives are flying long,
And pitchers wonder what’s gone wrong?
The Bronx winds sing this joyous song:
“Giambi’s in his golden thong!”
Each swing reveals Giambi’s might,
Each wince inspires his mates to fight,
They know too well his painful plight:
One ball hangs left, one ball hangs right.
He leads the veteran team attack,
True courage, he shall never lack!
He eyes the pitch, then takes his whack
As golden threads ascend his crack.
Then comes the time when life turns wrong,
When wins grow short, and losses long,
And Bronx winds sing their saddest song:
“Giambi’s lost his golden thong!”
Hart Seely is the author of the hilarious Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.
Posted 5/21/08.
