Archive for July, 2008
Mark Teixeira Tribute
by Tito and the Gun Show
Mother, May I Slug the Umpire?
by Anonymous, 1886
Mother, may I slug the umpire,
May I slug him right away?
So he cannot be here, mother,
When the Clubs begin to play?
Let me clasp his throat, dear mother,
In a dear, delightful grip
With one hand, and with the other
Bat him several in the lip.
Let me climb his frame, dear mother,
While the happy people shout;
I’ll not kill him, dearest mother,
I will only knock him out.
Let me mop the ground up, Mother,
With his person, dearest do;
If the ground can stand it, mother,
I don’t see why you can’t, too.
Mother, may I slug the umpire,
Slug him right between the eyes?
If you let me do it, mother,
You shall have the champion prize.
Quoted in Crazy ‘08 by Cait Murphy.
Posted 7/28/08
Going Out A Winner
by Sid Yiddish
They send me to the showers early
Because I’m not good enough.
Sit me down on the bench and give me a good scolding.
I feel as if my future is folding, but I don’t mind, because I feel as I’ve worked harder at playing the game than anyone who’s ever played in my position.
Still, they tell me it’s not enough.
I still miss fly-balls and occasional grounders, too.
They tell me my throwing arm isn’t what it used to be, when firing from centerfield to tag the runner out at home and it’s not that I’m tired or old or have a reoccurring injury.
It’s just that I’m tired of the abuse that’s heaped on top of me, game after game after game by managers and coaches who read the playbooks all wrong and the owners that only want runs and hits and for the fans to keep on packing the place.
Perhaps this is the last inning for me.
Perhaps it’s time to retire, but it won’t matter.
I’ll still go out a winner.
Posted 7/24/08
