Archive for March, 2009

AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST 2009 HAIKU FORECASTS

By Stuart Shea

RAYS
Last year’s fish is cooked.
Singing songs of spring, the team
Trawls for the title.

RED SOX
Dust is in the air.
Dustin is in the infield.
Just get me a cloth.

YANKEES
$300 trillion
And they say they can’t afford
A spare infielder?

BLUE JAYS
Rock and hard place—both
Tough to climb when you work with
Canada dollars.

ORIOLES
When does that new show,
“Waiting for Weiters” come on?
Not quickly enough.

Posted 3/30/09.

March 30th, 2009

National League West 2009 Haiku Forecasts

By Stuart Shea

DODGERS
What causes shadows
Gath’ring over Dodgertown?
Oh. It’s Manny’s hair.

DIAMONDBACKS
Risky tightrope walk—
Using Felipe Lopez
As a regular.

GIANTS
If it rained all year
S.F. would avoid losing
100 ballgames.

PADRES
No big stars, no hope
Dark days ahead for the fans
Despite bright Cali skies.

ROCKIES
Jeff Francis’ arm
Wilted like Boston lettuce
Left out far too long.

Posted 3/25/09

March 26th, 2009

National League Central 2009 Haiku Forecasts

by Stuart Shea

CUBS
Spring wish, autumn dreams
Green of youth and rust of age
Hope is…Kevin Gregg?

BREWERS
Prince Fielder’s a veg.
The racing sausages can
Rest easy all summer.

ASTROS
Bummer! Bits of sun
Are all that Minute Maid Park
Will see this season.

CARDINALS
Converted Skippy
Will be a sitting pigeon
For one hard slide.

REDS
Screw Dusty Baker!
The Reds have enough talent
To win despite him.

PITTSBURGH
Winter’s not the time
To start rebuilding a house
With no foundation.

Posted 3/23/09

March 23rd, 2009