A Pocket History of the Hanley Ramirez Mess

By Stuart Shea

Hanley Ramirez jogged after the ball.
Hanley Ramirez didn’t hustle at all.

Hanley Ramirez was pulled from the game.
Hanley Ramirez tried shifting the blame.

Hanley Ramirez blew off some steam.
Hanley Ramirez was shunned by his team

Hanley Ramirez heard from the press.
Hanley Ramirez was in a big mess.

Hanley Ramirez, we know, isn’t dense.
Hanley Ramirez came to his sense.

Hanley Ramirez has answered the mob.
Now Hanley Ramirez goes back to his job.

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Posted 5/31/10

Hey Russo!

by David Bellel

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A rook went back to NY City
Because Winns’ play was pure chicanery
Thames takes chances and Jorg got bonged
And in a minute, he’s righted wrong

Hey, Russo! Russo Italiano!
Hey, Russo! Russo Italiano!
Go, go, go, you mixed up Sicialiano (or Neapolitano)
All you calabraise-a hit the ball like-a crazy with-a

Hey, Russo! There’s no more Yogi Berra
Hey Russo! No more that Scooter fella
Hey, Russo! Russo Italiano!
Try an enchilada with da fish-a bac-a-lab and then-a

Hey goombah, I love a how you hits go boombah
But take a some advice, paisano
From A-Rod, your new found bro:
Get some dates with Kate
It will power every at-plate

Hey, Russo! Russo Italiano!
Hey, Russo! Russo Italiano!
Go, go, go you mixed up Sicialiano (or Neapolitano)

All you calabraise-a hit the ball like a crazy!

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You can find more of David’s musings on the Yankees at his blog, Pseudo-Intellectualism.

Posted 5/28/2010

This Season

by Stephen Jones

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This new season fans fresh
Cards & fantasy leagues lush
Etched stroked boasted

In any hemisphere any ballpark
Any afternoon or evening dark

Of baseball thinking & reacting
The art of pitching
Or sudden art of bat

In any hemisphere any ballpark
Any afternoon or evening dark

Arguments mouthed at a bar
a workplace or home are
part’n’parcel of baseball

In any hemisphere any ballpark
Any afternoon or evening dark

Is baseball feted
Appetite whetted

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Posted 5/27/2010

Elvis Casting Out the Angel

by Bob Carlton

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Dive to short so deep
it’s almost left field–
a rifle shot
across the diamond–
low ricochet
dug out at first:
a play you’ll never
see again just
another box score out.

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Posted 5/26/2010

Fugue for Marlins Fans

by Ember Nickel

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I got your batter here, he’s gonna start the year
Right down in Florida where the weather’s clear.
Cantu, Cantu, this guy that we got, Cantu.
You know he’s gonna come through, come through, come through.

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Cantu will get a hit, if he’s on top of it,
As long as Gonzalez doesn’t make him sit.
New game, new game, it’ll turn out just the same.
Each game, each game, he’ll drive someone in each game.

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I said, this guy right here, we all should hold him dear,
He’s gonna get some hits, and I’m real sincere.
Cantu, Cantu, this guy that we got, Cantu.
You know he’s gonna come through, come through, come through.
Cantu–this guy we got right here!

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This is his time to shine, cause on the morning line,
I heard he could pull it off here in game nine.
Has chance, has chance, this guy says he’s got a chance.
If he says he’s got a chance, has chance, has chance.

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He’ll go out there and shine, his swing is looking fine,
And you know Bailey was never a friend of mine.
Today, today, this is gonna be his day.
It’s looking like a good day, today, his day.

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He’s gonna be that guy to get the RBI
He’s gonna hit a homer and let it fly.
Big threat, big threat, the Reds know he’s a big threat.
They’re calling him a big threat, you bet, big threat.

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And just a minute, boys,
I hear the broadcast noise,
He’s got a homer! That’s gonna bring many joys.
It’s done, we won, and now he is number one.
If he’s really number one, we won, we won.
Yeah, Cantu was the guy with the RBI,
Because he hit a homer and let it fly.

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We’ve got the      GUY    RIGHT     HERE!

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Posted 5/25/2010