A Clinchmas Story

by Zach Gifford

Twas the night that we clinched, and all through the house
not a creature was stirring (’cept Hunter Pence, that louse).
All the kids and the grownups at GABP
were waiting to see what the inning would be.

When up to the plate strode the mighty Jay Bruce.
And right in that moment, my mind saw the news.
The ’Stros brought a lefty, but Jay Bruce just smirked,
Stepped in to the box, and he went straight to work.

He swung the bat hard, so fast and so quick
That I knew in a moment in the stands it would stick.
He raised both his arms and he ran with a smile,
And Joy rose in Cincy that had been gone for a while.

Marty was happy, and so was son Thom.
Even Jim Day and Pic were enjoying that bomb!
The fireworks, how bright! The crowd, O how merry!
For such a great season, an appropriate cherry.

So thanks Aaron and Bronson, Brandon and Scott.
Thanks Orlando and Joey, the whole stinking lot!
And I heard them exclaim as they rode out of sight:
“Merry Clinchmas to all, and to all a Reds’ night!”

George Blanda, R.I.P.

by Jim Siergey

Coach Halas thought George wouldn’t stick,
but Blanda could still pass and kick.
.    For sixteen more years
.     he made it quite clear
no mind did he pay to Time’s tick.

George Blanda passed away Monday at the age of 83.  He played 26 seasons of pro football as a quarterback and kicker, retiring a month shy of his 49th birthday.

On the Retirement of Nancy Faust

by James Finn Garner

Oh Nancy, for over 40 summers
You’ve brought music and joy to Chisox fans,
Fingers tripping lightly o’er the keyboard,
Perched in the midst of the Comiskey stands.

So many ballparks used canned music now,
With no more soul than an iPod Shuffle.
Dear Nancy, you’re the sweetheart of the park–
Forgive us if we fight back a sniffle.

Thank you for the Mexican Hat Dance,
A Randy Newman song, a Broadway tune.
Thanks for keeping us all singing along
When the team was 20 games out in June.

Like with hot dogs, beer vendors and popcorn,
Games aren’t complete without your sweet refrains.
This isn’t “Na-Na, Hey-Hey, Goodbye”, it’s
“Auf Wiedersehn”, Nancy, and “Danke Schoen”.

“Enough!” He Said and Left in a…Huff

By Stuart Shea and James Finn Garner

Aubrey Huff,
No powder puff
Flat on his duff.

He has the stuff,
This Aubrey Huff.

“When times are tough,”
Says Aubrey Huff,
“I don’t get gruff.
I huff and puff.

“I’m pretty tough.
I’m Aubrey Huff!”

Posted 9/27/10

Somewhere Along K-Long’s Way

by David Bellel

Curtis Granderson joins the chorus:

I used to whiff a slew
Whenever lefties threw
Yank hearts were not carefree and gay
How could I know I’d find you
Somewhere along k-long’s way

The pitchers I used to know
Would always smile “Hello”
No sure out like my out, they’d say
Then love re-gripped my fingers
Somewhere along k-long’s way

I should forget
But with the nightmares of hit-less nights I see scary things
You’re gone and yet
There’s still a feeling deep inside
That you will always be part of me

So now I look for you
Along Grand Concourse Avenue
And If I stumble, I pray
That I’ll never lose you
Somewhere along k-long’s way