by Jim Siergey
From Ozzie, this buzz—
“If my ‘firemen’
give up one more iffy run,
I’ll know it’s because
they’ve been reading
Farenheit 451.”
.
Most Invisible Player
by James Finn Garner
Ichiro’s struggling this year,
Though I don’t know how you could tell.
When he hits, his team’s under .500,
When he doesn’t, they don’t do so well.
.
Continental Divide
by Edmund Conti
The Dodgers are bankrupt
And–here it comes,
Directly from Brooklyn–
“Dem Bums!”
Derek Jeter: The Closing Poem
by Hart Seely
Gehrig wept and Mantle drank,
When their careers began to tank,
Andy got out just in time.
Not one outing past his prime.
Derek Jeter, love the guy.
Day he leaves, you bet I’ll cry.
But he came up just yesterday,
And hit another double-play.
Mussina won that final game,
We’ll always think of him the same.
Ted Williams, in his last at bat,
Hit one out, and that was that.
Derek Jeter, one great man,
Say he can’t, he’ll show he can.
But I can’t help but the hate the way
He hits into that double-play.
When “Farewell” came time to wave,
Babe Ruth toiled as a Boston Brave.
In those final days of life,
Reagan barely knew his wife.
The ravages of time, so cruel,
The smartest man becomes the fool;
In the end, great pitchers fall,
(Unless they throw a knuckleball.)
Derek Jeter, time has passed.
You gave us everything we asked.
We’ll buy your fragrance, wear your smell,
We’ll drive whatever car you sell.
We wish you one long happy ride,
And Minka Kelly at your side.
But, sir, I really have to say,
I can’t take one more double-play.
Hart Seely is the driving force behind the Yank blog, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught.
Various Action of 6-21
by Ember Nickel
Paul
Hit a ball
Out for his fifth straight day. No Sox
Bat has got six straight days of park-vacating knocks.
Mitch
Also hit a ball out, which
Put things such that his squad won.
No outs–not a pitch (bar 10 and a half prior innings’ worth)–prior to winning run.
Zack
Didn’t lack
For Ks,
Notching 10 against Rays.
Ryan Howard
Is not a coward.
His hit wound up a big inning
So his squad wound up winning.
Brian
Had to start pitching, as Placido and Ryan
Both got hit by a pitch
On back-to-back plays, that inning. At that point, you must switch.
Carl Pavano
Had to go mano-a-mano
With his opposing moundsman. Carl didn’t notch a hit
But as his squad had 8 in as many at-bats, was cool with it.
Justin Smoak
Was part of a ninth-inning croak.
His squad was up by four
But couldn’t shut Washington’s door.
Ember Nickel blogs at Lipogram! Scorecard!