By James Finn Garner
When Jose Reyes won the title
it gave us pause to check his mettle.
Which body part did serve him best:
His heart, his biceps, or his ass?
Season’s Last Day Oakland Sportswriter Blues
By Stuart Shea
The Cardinals are blanking the Astros again,
And they’ll make the playoffs if the Braves can’t win.
I wish I was there for this wild-card craze,
But I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
Hey! Tampa came back from a 7-0 hole,
Dan Johnson just tied it–right off the foul pole!
I’d love to be seeing the Yankees and Rays,
But I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
Did Baltimore really just walk off the Sox?
And Papelbon pull one more of his rocks?
So Tampa and St. Lou are in. I’m amazed
That I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
It’s cold in this pressbox at Safeco Field,
And watching a meaningless game is the yield.
The action is elsewhere, and it’s one of those days.
I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
Boston Autumn? (The Reel Is Not A Jig)
by Stephen Jones
Inexplicable meltdown
In Boston leaves are falling
No Autumn splendor
Instead play-off hopes
Free-falling without a net
And time running out
Good-Bye, Ozzie
By Stu Shea
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
A Long Winter in Twinkie Town
by James Finn Garner
Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau
Had miserable seasons, and so
.   The Twins are now heading
.   Into future rough sledding
In the land of the ice and the snow.