Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Say “Hi” to “The Kid”
who never missed a beat/bat
of enthusiasm & protocol
even when his locker room
teammates were elsewhere
who believed baseball is a game
not of dollars & nonsense
who never cursed ‘cept once
in Game 6 the ’86 World Series
when on first base he swore
“I will not lose this damn game”
heart owning the whole thing
& who maintained a standard
beyond “behind home plate”
& something we could all learn from
Jamie Moyer, long of tooth,
Nabs a win at 49.
Never pitched to ol’ Babe Ruth
But babysat him one time.
Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.
President Lincoln, skip that show!
Amelia Earhart, please don’t go!
Dillinger, don’t trust that vamp!
Joba, please . . . avoid that tramp.
JFK, don’t take that ride!
Dr. King, sir, stay inside!
Julius Caesar, ditch that crown!
Joba, jump . . . just don’t come down.
Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
America, free beer for all!
Mariano, please don’t go!
Joba . . . say it isn’t so.
Hart Seely’s new book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch, is now in bookstores. He also runs the essential Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is . . . caught.
The batter stepped up to the plate
We were hoping it wasn’t too late
A home run we needed
So we all cheered and pleaded
Would this victory be left up to fate?
The first pitch the ump called a ball
The next pitch was fouled off the wall
The third pitch went high
Fourth prompted a sigh
As strike two was the umpire’s call!
The next pitch was called ball three
Then the crowd shouted with glee
As the last pitch soared far
And hit a parked car
Giving out team the victory!
How thin-skinned Red Sox players
Seemingly are off-stage
Dramatically running to defend
“Slighted” comrade Youkilis
It seems nothing in Boston functions
Without turmoil
And there’s no such thing as “just a blip”
On Boston’s radar
So what’s next in Bean . . . no
“Diva” Town?
Saddle up City of Boston
For a bumpy summer stage