Is Hughes Is or Is Hughes Ain’t My Baby?

by David Bellel

Oh, I got a man that’s tempts the fates
Be still my heart or will it break
But I love him
Yes I hate him

Will batters love to come to plate?
Or be confused by a curve’s late break
Yes I want him
Yeah I intend to dump him
Can someone fix him?

Is Hughes is or is Hughes ain’t my baby?
Well, the way he’s pitching lately, makes me doubt
Hughes was still my baby, baby
Seems like my flame in your heart just gone out

Phil Hughes is a creature
That has always been strange
Just when you’re sure of him
You’ll find that he’s gone and made a change

Is Hughes is or is Hughes ain’t my baby?
Well, maybe Hughes can go to someone new
And we can get another arm much more true

 

When Any Lot Would Do

by Bob Carlton

the ground ball skips
kicking up dust
and the smell
of wild onions
gathering stains
breaking stitches
before finally spinning
into the comfort
of a glove
just as worn

Rizzo to the Rescue

by James Finn Garner

Despite the choke he’d had before
(When called to the Show by the Pods),
Our Tony’s moving up to Wrigley now
To seek the blessing of baseball’s gods.

Will he take the Cubs to new heights?
Knock the pill out on Waveland Avenue?
At least he’ll put some bums in seats
‘Cuz Ricketts needs the revenue.

Hiroki Kuroda: The Poem

by Hart Seely

From Binghamton to Sarasota
We Yankee fans mix gin with soda.
Chaos, we have reached our quota.
Uncertainty, thy name’s Kuroda.

One day he could strike out Yogi.
Next day, he’s a double-bogey.
Every night, it’s karaoke.
Who is this guy, our boy Hiroki?

Perhaps some wise, old pitching Yoda
Knows why he can’t beat Minnesota,
Then laps the Mets in his Toyota.
Uncertainty, thy name’s Kuroda.

 

Hart Seely’s hilarious new book, The Juju Rules: Or, How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch: A Memoir of a Fan Obsessed, is available now in bookstores and from Amazon.

Team Dog

By Barbara Gregorich

Jack and Larry leave Canada
for Cleveland, where Larry inhales
the scent of every player,
.     twitching his tail and planting
.     his paws on each
.          of them.

Jack shows his teammates
each new trick Larry
.     has learned —
.     jumping as high as Jack’s shoulder,
.          sitting on Jack’s shoulders,
.          balancing on Jack’s head.

On the wooden platform,
waiting for the southbound train,
.          the Naps take turns
.          playing with Larry.

Jack makes sure
each player knows that Larry
.     is not just Jack’s dog,
.          he is the team’s dog, too —
.          the official mascot
.     of the Cleveland Naps.

Jack reminds them that they
are all proud of Larry and of
.          themselves, and he hints
.          that maybe they should study
.     how Larry behaves.

Boarding the train,
Jack flexes his arm
.     and stretches his shoulder,
.     heading for the aches
.            of spring training

.     and the hope
.     that his arm has healed.

 

Taken from Barbara’s new book, Jack and Larry: Jack Graney and Larry, the Cleveland Baseball Dog. You can get a copy of this story of the only live mascot ever held by a major league team by visiting Barbara’s website or watching for her at this week’s SABR convention in Minneapolis.