by the Village Elliott
K.C.’s playoff hopes are alive,
But they ain’t Danced since ’85.’
.  While Bengals from Motown
.  Know how to get down,
Royals may need George Brett to arrive.
Regular Season Post-Mortem, or a Toast to Stories Departed
By Stuart Shea
10 Teams Continue,
20 Teams Done.
Stories we have followed
Now consigned to history–
Into the pages of a book
That has been replaced by a web site.
Jose Abreu’s rookie season is over.
Corey Kluber’s ass-kicking year is over.
Phillip Hughes’ breakout is over.
Charlie Blackmon’s beard is over.
Kirk Gibson is VERY over.
But the damage done by Kevin Towers’ trades is just beginning.
Altuve’s wonderful year is over.
The Rangers’ long march of injuries is over…
But the Wash Era is also over.
Everth Cabrera’s honeymoon is over.
Marcus Stroman’s debut is over.
The painful Jay Bruce year is over.
Brock Holt Mania! is over.
Another King Felix masterwork is over.
Giancarlo’s monster season is over.
Jonathan Lucroy’s emergence is over.
The Braves’ painful swan dive is over.
Mesoraco’s breakout is over.
The struggles of Springer are over.
The weird Joe Mauer year is over.
Justin Smoak’s chance is over.
Another frustrating Rockies season is over.
The Chase Headley Padres are over.
The Papelbon crap is over,
But the Phillies’ country club continues.
The Frank Wren Era is over.
Colby Rasmus in Toronto is REALLY over.
Desmond Jennings’ honeymoon is over.
Heath Bell seems over.
The Cubs on WGN are over.
Bobby Abreu is over.
Josh Willingham is over.
Carlos Beltran sure looks over.
Can Kevin Gregg please be over?
Jason Giambi is finally over, right?
The 2013 World Champs are really over.
Is Ron Roenicke’s time over?
The Mets’ sexual harassment suit is NOT over.
Wrigley Field as we knew it is over.
Paul Konerko is over.
Derek Jeter is over.
20 Teams are over.
“Phillies Fever”
From 1976, sung by Dave Cash, Larry Bowa, Greg Luzinski, Mike Schmidt and Garry Maddox.
No Bravery This October
By Stuart Shea
Leaving Atlanta for the suburbs,
Swimming upriver like the other turds,
A bad team with no personality
And a logo strictly for the birds.
A dumb manager and no GM,
Folding down the stretch again,
Stuck with Chip Caray on the mike
And a press corps of yes-men,
Once this was America’s team,
Murphy, Maddux, Glavine, even Bream,
They’ll be sitting at home this October,
And don’t it make you wanna let out a
Big
Happy
Scream?
In Other Retirement News: Konerko
by James Finn Garner
Helping keep South Side baseball alive
Manning the rudder in 2005
Plus a grand salami that wasn’t no jive
More than mere baseball, he’s
Our Paulie
Hard to see him as a Dodger or Red
No froth of praise ever clouded his head
Didn’t spout any line and meant what he said
More than mere baseball, he’s
Our Paulie
To the up-and-comers a mentor and sensei
His swing and his fielding held nothing fancy
For all of this century, the right side wasn’t chancy
More than mere baseball, he’s
Our Paulie