by Hilary Barta
In baseball no pitcher is betta
Than right-hander Jake Arrieta
On the mound he will stand
Cool, calm, in command,
And throw a no-hitter, no sweata!
Cubs 2, Dodgers 0
by Stephen Jones
Rough road trip complaints?
Just call Jake Arrieta.
The no-hitter cure.
Grand Slam Wandoo
by the Village Elliott
For the Giants Keystone Combo
Tomlinson hit first home run today,
Wham-Bam, hit a grand slam, Cha-Cha’s way.
Crawford’s first home run, too,
Was a Grand Slam Wandoo,
One more Giants keystone double play.
Danks For Nothin’
By Stuart Shea
Don’t mean nothin’ how much he stanks–
Ventura’s gonna keep on using John Danks.
Don’t even matter how much he tanks,
Or politely mutters “Please” and “Thanks.”
Far be it from me to pull any ranks,
Or attack the clubhouse with guns and shanks,
Or call the sports talk shows pullin’ pranks,
But they’ve gotta have somebody better than Danks.
Astros 15, Yankees 1
by Stephen Jones
In the beginning . . . of this baseball history,
Yankee Ivan Nova–he was not so super–
Got burned by Houston’s big bang theory.
Others followed–they couldn’t stop it either.
The Astros’ rain of runs, a meteor shower
Of them, had done in the old Pinstripers.