Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
On the road down in Cincy, Kris Bryant
Explodes for three homers, all giant
But the cheers “Curtain call”
On deaf ears would all fall
To such showboating Bryant’s defiant.
Kris Bryant hit three homers and two doubles on Monday night, but refused to come out of the dugout for a bow, despite cheers from fans and prodding from teammates, because he didn’t want to show up the Reds.
Those White Sox batters? They’re a fearsome bunch.
For power or for average they can hit.
Most every day they pack a deadly punch.
But when Quintana pitches, they all sit.
The South Side Glove Men all have awesome range.
Their fielding prowess makes opponents moan.
Their hands are sure and soft, and so it’s strange
That when Quintana pitches, they are stone.
Chicago’s mighty bullpen has no peer.
Their supple arms throw filthy stuff indeed.
They face the toughest hitters with no fear.
But when Quintana starts, they blow the lead.
Jose Quintana’s skill we all esteem,
But when the poor guy pitches, where’s his team?
For All Who’ve Thrown a Ball or Swung a Bat
I
Broomstick and a Pink Spaldeen
For All the Stoop-Ballers
While out this evening for a stroll,
Saw Whiffle Ball on Village Green.
It stirred the best of childhood’s soul
Like broomstick swung at pink Spaldeen. . .
II
Whiffle Ball Village Green Scene
For All the Wiffle-Ballers
Played tonight! Stinson Beach Village Green:
Game revived local Wiffle-Ball scene
On town’s basketball court,
I am pleased to report.
Hope once more Game becomes town’s routine.
The Rays goin’ south
Losers of eleven straight
Well, Tampa is “south”