A Character in Any Language

by James Finn Garner

If you hate inane postgame banter
–canned, obsequious, and jock-y–
Then you need to tip your hat ter
The Jays’ Munenori Kawasaki.

With glee he mangles all the blather
–“We came to play,” “Let’s have a look”–
In an accent thick as lather
From his handy battered phrase book.

The talking heads’ condescension
Is clear in their braying bonhomie,
But Mune, in whatever declension,
Will not be deterred by the phonies.

Add to this his pregame stretches
And hapless epileptic boogaloos,
You’ll see fun is back in baseball, betches.
Will someone tell Selig the news?


Published in James Finn Garner, Management, Players, Pure doggerel, The Game Itself, Toronto Blue Jays | Link to this poem | No Comments

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