All-Star Clerihews #1

by Hugh Briss

Troy Tulowitzki
Must be throwing fits. He’s
The top vote-getter among NL jocks,
Yet plays for a bottom-feeder like the Rox.

Andrew McCutcheon
Walks around touching
Each and every light switch
Cuz his OCD is just a bitch.

Anthony Rizzo,
That’s a big favor to owe.
You’ll have to deliver, by gawd,
Before they uncover Chicago’s election fraud.

Chase Utley
Needs a course in geography.
Instead of Minnesota,
He booked a flight to North Dakota.

Jose Altuve:
Smooth move, eh?
Spend the week away from Houston,
Maybe get some fishing done.

 


Published in Chicago Cubs, Colorado Rockies, Houston Astros, James Finn Garner, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | No Comments

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