Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
How many chances will Melky get
To try and make us forget?
Once a prospect,
Now he’s not.
As leadoff man,
He ain’t so hot.
Where’s the power he used to show?
Where’s the speed?
Why can’t he throw?
K.C. may be the last stop.
When will the penny drop?
Did the promising young righty
Think money was tight-y?
Is that why he tagged Macy’s
‘stead of runners on the base-ies?
The thirsty ears,
The surly moods,
The obvious craving for ballpark food,
When he’s off singing country,
I won’t miss him a minute—
I’ll like the game better
When Joe West’s not in it.
By Stuart Shea
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM
So Peter Bourjos
Is the fastest man around.
Can he steal first base?
OAKLAND ATHLETICS
A new sun rising
On the bay…change is coming
For Balfour or Wuertz.
SEATTLE MARINERS
How long can the M’s
Stick with Milton Bradley’s act
Til the game’s over?
TEXAS RANGERS
Is it a surprise
That the Rangers have acquired
A pitcher named Bush?
By Stuart Shea
BALTIMORE ORIOLES
Talented groundhogs
Trying to burrow through a
two-layer brick wall.
BOSTON RED SOX
Deep at every spot.
Not young at any of them,
Must win now or else.
NEW YORK YANKEES
E. Chavez is “back”!
Well, that’s a strange way to say
That he feels “healthy.”
TAMPA BAY RAYS
Damon? Ramirez?
It all depends what kind of
leadership you want.
TORONTO BLUE JAYS
Latinos can get
Good job opportunities
North of the border.