Batting .407

by Todd Herges
For those who wish, like me, that airtime were left to just one play-by-play guy and a wise, mostly quiet color man who chooses his interjections carefully,letting the analysts to do their important work silently at home, online

Welcome to WHO Radio, 780 on your BN dial.
We’re here at the ballpark for a game between
the hometown team and that one over there
in the first base dugout.

Tonight’s game features the hard-hitting guys
from a certain breezy burg
and their arch rivals from across the Big Muddy.
It’s bound to be a wild one!
Joining me in the booth is one of the great Masters
of the Obvious and Inconsequential …

Thanks Frank, and yes, it does promise to be a wild one.
Before the night is over we’ll see if a certain someone
can pass the milestone last breached by some guy
in Beantown who wore the number 9.
Yes, that’s right, today Mr. Mendoza has a
chance to finish the year with a batting
average above .400 on days ending in “y”
and beginning with “W”, when a southpaw
gets the start and they’re playing outdoors
on grass at night in a stadium with lights
more than 10 years old, and it’s the second game of
a road trip against a team in their own division.
(Except when he’s not hitting in the eight hole, or – if he is –
then he’s being protected
by a pitcher who has taken two or more yard
each year for the past three seasons.)

It’s interesting to note, on the other side of the plate,
that he has a perfect goose-egg average in at-bats that end with
him striking out, or being struck out. Backward
or forward, it matters not which.

I suppose he wishes they never played any games
on Monday or Friday, or on days beginning with “S” or “T”!

Posted 6/23/10

Published in Fans, Free Verse, The Game Itself | Link to this poem | No Comments

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