Bottom of the Charts–All-Star Break Edition

By Stuart Shea

As we pause before the second half,
It’s good to have a little laugh.

Zunino of Seattle is batting like sh**–
With 100 Ks and just 40 hits.
His OBP is the lowest of all,
At .223, he’s slowed to a crawl.

At least he can catch and hit some home runs,
While Omar Infante just ponders what was.
Nearly an all-star despite his bad year,
Hitting .236; there’s no positives here.

You want some odd stats? Billy Ham’s on a spree–
His 44 steals lead all MLB.
But he’s hitting .220 and does nothing else well,
So his OPS trails the entire NL.

The Brewers would love to trade veteran arms,
But Kyle Loshe and Matt Garza have lost all their charms.
ERA’s over 6 and 5.55,
They won’t fetch a scratched copy of “Stayin’ Alive.”

Some other pitchers whose names we all knew
Were expected to win but just haven’t come through.
C.C. Sabathia has learned how to lose,
Like Kyle Kendrick, Rick Porcello, and even Phil Hughes.

Yes, the second half ought to be fun for us snobs,
But not for the guys who are fighting for jobs.


Published in Fans, Players, Pure doggerel, Stu Shea, The Game Itself | Link to this poem | 1 Comment

Bottom of the Charts–All-Star Break Edition: 1 Comment

  1. Mako Nikaidoh wrote,

    Well done, thanks.

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