by Arthur Longbrake
My sermon today, said Reverend Jones,
is baseball and whence it came.
Now, if you take the Good Book and you take a good look,
you will find the first Baseball Game.
It says Eve stole first, Adam second;
Solomon umpired the game.
Rebecca went to the well with a pitcher,
And Ruth in the field made a name.
Goliath was struck out by David —
A base hit was made on Abel by Cain,
And the Prodigal Son made a great home-run.
Brother Noah gave checks out for rain.
Jonah wailed — went down swinging.
Later he popped up again.
A lion-drive by ole Nebuchadnezzar
Made Daniel warm-up in the pen.
Delilah was pitching to Samson,
When he brought down the house with a clout,
And the Angels that day made a double-play
That’s when Adam and Eve were thrown out.
Ole St. Pete was checking errors,
Also had charge of the gate.
Salome sacrificed Big John the Baptist
Who wound up ahead on the plate.
Satan was pitching that apple
And looked as though he might fan ’em all,
But then Joshua let go a mighty blow
And blasted one right at the wall.
And then the Lord wound up and took good aim,
And started the very First Baseball Game.
And, now we all know the way that the game was begun,
And to this very day — It’s still Number One!
First published anonymously in the Sporting News in 1906
Published in History, Pure doggerel, The Game Itself | Link to this poem | 1 Comment