Double Armando Haiku
By Joe Moag
Uproar in the press!
Lupica wants Selig to
Bend time…space…honor.
Override ump’s call?
This summer’s game ain’t perfect.
Not one for the books.
Posted 6/6/10
Galarrrrraga – The Tiger!
by Millie Bovich
.
When 25 came up to bat,
The crowd erupted — ‘member that?
Then Jackson pulled one from the skies,
A miracle before our eyes.
Twenty-six then took the heat.
Two outs! The fans all on their feet.
So 27 tapped the plate.
The anxious throng could hardly wait.
The hitter nipped an infield ball,
And then the most disputed call.
The runner obviously was out.
The fans began to rant and shout.
Who says the umpire can’t be wrong?
Joyce on first gets baseball’s gong!
Leyland roared in Joyce’s face,
One thundrous “boo” engulfed the place.
A perfect game slipped ‘Mando’s hands.
Deep disappointment filled the stands.
This time an error the ump did make,
Too late admitting his mistake.
Galarraga’s perfect game
Was stolen! What a dirty shame!
The only perfect game to date
Whose batters totaled 28!
.
Millie Bovich has been a Detroit Tigers fan for more than eight decades.
Posted 6/4/2010
Nobody’s Perfect (The Armando Galarraga Saga)
by James Finn Garner
.
After the call that the umpire blew,
What could Armando Galarraga do?
Drag him to court in front of a judge,
Since now his market value was smudged?
Argue some kind of liberal plot?
Threaten to meet Joyce in the parking lot?
Hire a hit man to mangle his mug?
Break down on “Oprah” to get some O-hugs?
Threaten his wife, kids, brothers and sisters?
Publish his home phone number on Twitter?
Beg ol’ Bud Selig for some Commissioner’s magic?
Hire some flacks for his story so tragic?
Buy off some pols to rewrite the rules?
Sic Milton Bradley on his family jewels?
But Armando showed character larger than fame.
He smiled, shook hands and went on with the game.
.
Posted 6/3/2010
American League Central 2010 Haiku Forecasts
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
A Putz in the ‘pen,
Another in the dugout,
Not just birds Twitter.
.
INDIANS
No more wedge issues.
It’s time to see just how good
This ballclub can be.
.
TIGERS
A brand new springtime?
Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?
This is your autumn.
.
ROYALS
Inevitable
As tulips and tree pollen,
95 losses.
.
TWINS
Mauer power is
Ensured for many more moons
In the new playpen.
Posted 4/11/2009
Ten Little Indians (And Counting)
by James Finn Garner
Ten little Indians–
Contenders every time!
One gets dealt for spending cash,
Now there’s only nine.
Nine little Indians
Playing by the lake.
One’s worth five Dominican catchers.
Now there’s only eight.
Eight little Indians
Hoping they can score.
Half are waived without a claim.
Now there’s only four.
Four little Indians.
At least they have Cliff Lee.
Ooops! Lee’s been swapped to Philly.
Now there’s only three.
Three little Indians
(Not counting Chief Wahoo).
“This is a rebuilding year.”
Now there’s only two.
Two little Indians.
How can they score a run?
One quits to become a fully trained self-employed professional health care technician.
Now there’s only one.
One little Indian.
What an awful pity
If he had to pack his bags
For Oklahoma City.
Published 8/13/09
