Nobody’s Perfect (The Armando Galarraga Saga)
by James Finn Garner
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After the call that the umpire blew,
What could Armando Galarraga do?
Drag him to court in front of a judge,
Since now his market value was smudged?
Argue some kind of liberal plot?
Threaten to meet Joyce in the parking lot?
Hire a hit man to mangle his mug?
Break down on “Oprah” to get some O-hugs?
Threaten his wife, kids, brothers and sisters?
Publish his home phone number on Twitter?
Beg ol’ Bud Selig for some Commissioner’s magic?
Hire some flacks for his story so tragic?
Buy off some pols to rewrite the rules?
Sic Milton Bradley on his family jewels?
But Armando showed character larger than fame.
He smiled, shook hands and went on with the game.
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Posted 6/3/2010
Dave Dombrowski, Master Mechanic
by James Finn Garner
Dave Dombrowski does it again,
Trading Jackson and Granderson,
Retooling for a leaner year,
Throwing the Tiges in lower gear,
And after ripping out our hearts,
Replacing them with better parts.
For fixing up the Detroit bench,
Call Dombrowski “Mr. Goodwrench.”
Posted 5/23/10
Ernie Harwell
by James Finn Garner
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Now the Tigers’ voice has been quieted.
He saw teams that won, and fans that rioted.
He saw a man play in the bigs after jail.
He saw a boy pitching tell his baseball a tale.
He saw a flawed man win 31 games,
The careers of good men go up in flames.
He watched a beloved ballpark decay
And the City of Wheels fall by the way.
Yet he knew in the end it was only a game.
God’s plan ignores things like money and fame.
A bat’s just a branch, a mitt is just leather.
Baseball’s true worth is bringing people together.
Some night, when a hit curves decidedly foul,
We’ll hear a faint voice with a sweet Georgia drawl,
Say, chuckling with fathomless love for it all,
“A man from Paradise just caught that ball.”
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Posted 5/5/2010
Pork Haiku #1
By Gary Gillette
In honor of broadcaster Mario Impemba who, during the April 12 Tigers broadcast, talked about how Royals skipper Trey Hillman had managed the “Ham Fighters”…
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Nippon Ham Fighters!
WTF? Americans
Fear Pugnacious Pork.
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Posted 4/29/10
American League Central 2010 Haiku Forecasts
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
A Putz in the ‘pen,
Another in the dugout,
Not just birds Twitter.
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INDIANS
No more wedge issues.
It’s time to see just how good
This ballclub can be.
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TIGERS
A brand new springtime?
Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?
This is your autumn.
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ROYALS
Inevitable
As tulips and tree pollen,
95 losses.
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TWINS
Mauer power is
Ensured for many more moons
In the new playpen.
Posted 4/11/2009
