Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Writing poetry gave me a different satisfaction
than what playing baseball provided me
The biggest difference, interestingly enough,
was that, the lower the stakes,
the more power the critics had:
no amount of their vitriol
could take a save away from me
or change any game’s result,
unlike in poetry
There is a harsh reality:
No one escapes mortality.
Even if you were a baseball great,
You still cannot avoid such a fate.
Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver died,
And some fans of his likely cried.
Mortality and thoughts of Tom Seaver
Can turn us inward and into a griever.
A baseball immortal, that’s for sure
With a delivery that was so pure.
And yet with Death in the batter’s box
Not even the great ones can outfox.
No curve nor changeup nor blazing fastball
Has a chance against the swing of Death’s call.
All that is left on the great pitcher’s mound
Are the marvelous memories and joy unbound.
The Miracle Mets of long ago
Don’t seem so ancient to some of us, though
Who used to watch him and them play
When we were all young back in the day.
After Tom Seaver has been laid to rest
He still will remain among baseball’s best.
Still too will remain the human fragility:
We all will strike out against mortality.
(Editor’s Error: First submitted Sept. 3, 2020. RIP Tom Seaver)
Tigers outfielder Akil Baddoo
Tried to stretch one base into two
Was hit near the base
In his own carapace
A two-bagger, one-sacker miscue.
This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
Though for piddling away Spring Training
We’re really quite bereft
This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
We might lack in fundamentals but
In dodging blame, we’re deft
This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
From our days in Double A you’d say
Most of us have regressed
This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
What is Time, anyway, huh?
A false construct, at best
This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
Just string together some victories
And we’ll put this issue to rest.
Tony La Russa intentionally walked a batter
with two strikes and two outs
The next guy up hit a homer,
bringing Tony’s mind into doubt.
A head scratching choice
A questionable call
Tony swore the statistics
Would cause the Dodgers to stall.
But the Sox have a plan
to get back on the right track:
Swapping 77-year-old La Russa
for 87-year-old Connie Mack.
(Editor’s Error! This limerick was submitted in June of 2022, but was lost in the Inbox.)