Late-Season Pleasures

by James Finn Garner

If the Orioles
Had any squad goals
Before the season kicked off

I’m sure they were higher
Than being the spoiler
For those punching into the playoffs

But be realistic
There’s been nothing artistic
Regarding the Orioles’ play

Take your fun where you can
And what’s more fun than
Pissing off the Bosox and Jays?

 

Orioles 10, Yankees 6

by Stephen Jones

It was supposed to be a laugher,
Instead it was a groaner
For the Yankees in Poe’s Baltimore.

Even with 2 strikes, 2 outs,
Baltimore just kept on hitting.
Quoth the Orioles: “Nevermore.”

 

Willie Keeler

By Michael Ceraolo

I wasn’t above shenanigans
such as hiding extra baseballs in the high grass,
but unlike some of my teammates and others in the League,
I drew the line at verbal and physical taunts
McGraw would even ride his teammates:
one day he rode me too far,
so I whipped him and he stopped riding me
You probably know my hitting philosophy,
or at least the most-quoted part,
so I’ll give it again in full:
“Keep your eye clear and hit ’em where they ain’t”
Many through the years have ignored the first part
and fewer every year follow the second part,
but it’s still sound advice today.

AL East 2020 Projection Haiku

A Bardball exclusive, originally created by Stuart Shea

ORIOLES
Reduce reuse rebuild
If prospects were wishes
They’d have a parade

RED SOX
Get us a ring, Chaim
Also below the tax cap
Beat the Yanks too, ‘kay?

YANKEES
Last year’s injured list
Now a memory–Ooops!
Judge sidelined again.

RAYS
D’Arnaud, Garcia
Are off to greener pastures
They still grow talent.

BLUE JAYS
Twenty-one hurlers
Keep switching battery out
Of blue muscle car.