Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot

Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league

His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance

An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed

Taking Higher Ground

by Michael X. Ferraro

Chris Davis’s 0-fer-8 night ended in bliss.
Five times did the DH swing-swing-swing and miss.
So, post-platinum sombrero, why the big grin?
‘Cause he tossed two scoreless and picked up the win.

………………………………………………………………………………..

The Ballad of Chris Davis

by Stu Shea

How does a player go 0-for-8
And still win himself the game ball?
Move from DH to the pitching mound
And make major-league hitters look small.

Whiffed Piazza, Harold Baines,
Eric Davis, Hardrock Raines.
Batters swung and bade goodbye,
Carlos Beltran, Russell Dye.
BJ Surhoff, Albert Belle,
Junior Griffey, Pat Burrell.
None of them could solve his tricks.
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.

Struck out Nomar, Randy Wynn,
Tori Hunter, Tony Gwynn.
Mighty bats would disappear,
Juan Gonzalez, Rusty Greer,
Jeffrey Hammond, Jim Thome,
Julio Franco, Jason Bay.
Silent went their famous sticks.
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.

At 41, not nearly through,
ERA still under two.
Twelve times in the All-Star game,
Sure bet for the Hall of Fame.
Greatest pitcher still alive,
Could have gone ’till 45.
Who among us saw the fix
When the gods sent Jayson Nix?

Hart Seely’s dangerous book, The Juju Rules, is available now in bookstores and at Amazon.

Check out the rest of their music and support the Isotopes by visiting http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com.

Jamie Moyer, long of tooth,
Nabs a win at 49.
Never pitched to ol’ Babe Ruth
But babysat him one time.

Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.

President Lincoln, skip that show!
Amelia Earhart, please don’t go!
Dillinger, don’t trust that vamp!
Joba, please . . . avoid that tramp.

JFK, don’t take that ride!
Dr. King, sir, stay inside!
Julius Caesar, ditch that crown!
Joba, jump . . . just don’t come down.

Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
America, free beer for all!
Mariano, please don’t go!
Joba . . . say it isn’t so.

Hart Seely’s new book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch, is now in bookstores.  He also runs the essential Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is . . . caught.

How thin-skinned Red Sox players
Seemingly are off-stage
Dramatically running to defend
“Slighted” comrade Youkilis

It seems nothing in Boston functions
Without turmoil
And there’s no such thing as “just a blip”
On Boston’s radar

So what’s next in Bean . . . no
“Diva” Town?
Saddle up City of Boston
For a bumpy summer stage

Hughes, what happened to the dream?
You were once wonderful
The future ace of the team

What happened to the fastball of yours?
Now just a bp, gopher ball of yours
Batters granted big smiles from yours,
Sadly and truly.

Hughes, a juicer under a cloud?
We should have traded you away
But the gashman didn’t allow
We’d have IPK to ourselves
Alone and apart.
Not on a Padre team
But safe into our hearts.

BALTIMORE ORIOLES

“They might break even
if the young pitching improves.”
We’ve heard this before.

BOSTON RED SOX

After a tough loss
the new manager searches
for false-nose glasses

SEATTLE MARINERS

Jesus can create
a feast from loaves and fishes,
but Jesus can’t catch.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

With steroids now banned
normal aging will resume.
The cliff draws near.

DETROIT TIGERS

Trying to play third
when first base is a stretch could
drive a man to drink.

Connor and Josh performing their poem “Baseball” at The Cantab Lounge in Boston, Mass., at The National Poetry Slam in 2011. They were representing The Loser Slam venue from New Jersey.