Roy White, you did all right.
Jim Ray Hart, you played your part.
Willie Mays, those were the days!
Matty Alou, is it really true?
Duke Sims, you climbed on limbs.
Sparky Lyle, you made us smile.
Horace Clarke, you jumped the shark.
Matty Alou, we must bid adieu?
Harvey Kuenn, you made the scene.
Juan Marichal, you gave ’em hell.
Steve Blass, let’s raise a glass!
Matty Alou, we’ll remember you.
Hart Seely’s new book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames From Your Couch, will be published by Houghton Mifflin in time for Opening Day 2012. You can pre-order it from Amazon at this link.
How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!
Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie: (whispering) My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.
Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself. And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time. So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….
Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie:Â My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So run the O’s and change them overnight. Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight. Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.
There once was a Prince from Milwankee
Whose wife gave him no hanky panky
.    I’ll be ready, she said,
.    To take you to bed
When you swing your big bat as a Yankee
Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no, their last chance?
To get us to a big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re sad
We’re so, so sad
So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance Thurs night
Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no their last chance?
To get us to the big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re glad
We’re so, so glad
So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance thurs night
