Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Wade Meckler has had quite a week
of which he might not rather speak.
Two inside-the-parkers:
Luke Raley’s, Bryce Harper’s
Beat the outfielder at Hide-and-Seek.
Raley’s off-the-railing ricochet jobby six days ago
Harper’s elusive longball last night
The American League East
Is a self-eating beast
With no team below .500.
And the way these teams go,
As they consume one another,
It does make me wonder:
When the regular season
Is finally over
And the dust has settled,
It’s possible — it just may be —
That the last one on this list
Of baseball carnivores
May still get a wild card berth.
In the international arena
With the boldness of a javelina
Randy Arozarena
Donned boots from the zapateria
And una gorra fina
Earning points for style
And making us smile
Didn’t a win compile
(Cheers to the nippophiles)
Still made BP worthwhile.
Cowboy boots ✅
Sombrero ✅
Randy Arozarena is ready to go! #WorldBaseballClassic pic.twitter.com/QDy3OQP3TC— World Baseball Classic (@WBCBaseball) March 20, 2023
Let’s just say
The season ended today
And the Yankees won the division…
That’s a no-brainer, a win-loss given.
But what about the rest
Of the hungry AL East —
Those Red Sox and Rays,
Those Orioles and Blue Jays?
Like it or not, three of these beasts
Rule the AL’s wild-card menu.
But hey, that’s a speculative dream,
Maybe a thought in the extreme.
It’s more likely than not
That these baseball carnivores —
Forget here any herbivores —
Will actively consume each other
In the AL East’s cannibal-diner.
Some Tampa Bay Rays
Don’t accept gays
Claiming God don’t approve of their lovin’
They should’ve instead
Spoke of what Jesus said
On the subject, which is of course nothin’.
Isn’t it odd
Some people’s God
Might espouse love but just for a few?
And how white cishet men
Tell you time and again:
“Jesus is great– he thinks just like I do!”