Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot

Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league

His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance

An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed

BALTIMORE ORIOLES
Each summer’s the same—
Young hopefuls and old hopeless
Trapped in the basement.

BOSTON RED SOX
The Hub returns to
Valentine’s Day, which we thought
Was ten years ago.

NEW YORK YANKEES
It seems so pettitte—
That the biggest worry is
Who’ll be fifth starter.

TAMPA BAY RAYS
Quality starters,
Like oranges, can be grown
By best and brightest.

TORONTO BLUE JAYS
O young club of hope,
Answer me this one question:
Have you any chance?

Man in a white suit
Stealing signs for the Blue Jays
But they still don’t win.

Roger Clemens says “I’ll walk”
to clustered eager media
leaving court prosecution balked
warned by a bench previous

Know the rules
don’t fudge the facts
just prove the act

(& steroids run to trivia
rupturing historia)

Now $10 Million of trial prep
taxpayer dollars up in smoke
Clemens amid hollers walks
backdoor to Cooperstown

Time to make amends
(I wish would’ve been said)
By Roger Clemens
(But I cannot judge)

There’s tangled arrogance
Supposed abuse & media rush
Posturing on the mound a stance
In court too to hush

By filed papers
By disclaimers
That a person is naive
Yet aware & conflictive

I thought this bare-knuckle
Bare-faced debacle
Would’ve been erased
By an all-forgiving fan base

But this coming legal sieve
Only wishes/draws attention
To media-flushed speculation
A barrel of brine to leave

Fans in New England (the Red Sox Nation)
Are masochists in anticipation.

Yankee fans are clever guys
Two strikes on batter, they all rise
Sophisticated crowd.  Who knew
All of them could count to two?

The Cubby fans are loud and jivey,
Or are they rooting for the ivy?

It’s Baseball Night in Canada, eh?
Do the Blue Jays fight or do they play?

Texas loves the Texas Rangers
To the rest of us they’re total strangers.

Mets fans shout it:
Fuhgeddaboudit!

Good players are what their diamond lacks
But their fans still cheer the Diamondbacks.

The team is shaky in Seattle
The players may but the fans don’t rattle.

Florida fans all like to laze
Watch the game, take in the Rays.

Some fans will cheer and that’s
All we have for the Washington Nats.

Philadelphia’s fandom
Cheers or boos—it’s random.

Is pitching a sport or an art?
Reyes lost twenty-eight straight
Which isn’t that great
But all in all it’s a start.

.

BALTIMORE ORIOLES
Talented groundhogs
Trying to burrow through a
two-layer brick wall.

BOSTON RED SOX
Deep at every spot.
Not young at any of them,
Must win now or else.

NEW YORK YANKEES
E. Chavez is “back”!
Well, that’s a strange way to say
That he feels “healthy.”

TAMPA BAY RAYS
Damon? Ramirez?
It all depends what kind of
leadership you want.

TORONTO BLUE JAYS
Latinos can get
Good job opportunities
North of the border.

O, God, thy glories doth amaze,
Thy sunlight fills our autumn days,
We gain upon Thy Tampa Rays,
We thank Thee for thine Oakland A’s.

They represent Thy kingly ways,
And smite the ball to double plays,
More holy than Toronto Jays,
God speed thy team… O, Oakland A’s!

And so, to Thee, we offer praise,
For harvesting these wondrous lays,
No Variteks, no Jason Bays,
Return again… O, Oakland A’s.

Hart Seely runs the indispensable Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is … Caught.

Posted 9/6/10

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Posted 4/21/2010