Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
I count 61 home runs…
The number seems unfathomable…
And each one is unique, the way it
Travels like a laser or a moonshot,
And, for a moment, fills imagination
So completely that I never want the
Ball or player to touch the ground.
Despite four walks for Aaron Judge —
Even Toronto fans murmured disapproval;
They too wanted to see history made —
The Yankees still clinched the division.
Maybe now, with all that behind him,
Judge can now hit his 61.
Corbin Burnes
Knows his gulls from his terns
In the role of a birder
He’s absolute murder.
Sterling Marté
Sure loves to par-tay.
Whiskey, tequila, rum–
Whatever you got, he’ll have some.
Alek Manoah
Has never been to Samoa
But he knows the nightlife is da bomb
In Guam.
Pete Alonso
Has tattoos of Gonzo,
Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie and where space permits,
Kermit.
C.J. Cron
Will talk on the phone
For hours and hours
With other BTS followers.
Alejandro Kirk
Doesn’t like to work
On anything other than
His abs and his tan.
Kyle Tucker
Loves the Drive-By Truckers
And any other bands that wanna
Straddle genres.
Tony Gonsolin
Keeps a pet pangolin
And regularly massages the armor
Of that weird little charmer.
What’s up with your team, Kansas City?
TEN players not vaxxed, what a pity!
Playing the Jays
Now needs scrubs and strays
The toll of ignorance isn’t pretty.