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Allegation’s Disillusion

by the Village Elliott

Sat in Wrigley with Great Uncle Art,
Local White Sox fan from the team’s start.
Asked ’bout his Sox team Black,
He looked 50 years back,
I could feel dark angst still breaks his heart.

Allegations my childhood team raided
By hacking; legacy degraded.
Feel like fan of Black Sox,
Or Bill Belichick’s jocks.
Perhaps I’m just too f*cking jaded.

I don’t think it mere disillusion
Created by Cardinals’ collusion.
In game’s hacking scandal
The league might mishandle,
But fact of FBI’s inclusion.

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Short Ode to Futility

By Bobby Wall

Woe be to the nation’s fourth largest town
Houstonians always wore frown
Same legacy to St Louis’ Browns
Took Lord Baltimore’s town to gain a crown

1870 started the Braves in Beantown
Save for a ’14 miracle, they always went down
Never a final game winner strode the mound
Took til Atlanta for a winner to be found

 

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No Relief

By David Aretha

The Tigers can hit
And everyone knows it,
Yet it don’t mean a thing
When the bullpen can’t close it.

Detroiters may reign
As kings of the Central,
But they’ll never go farther
When the bullpen is mental.

Valverde chugged water,
Swirled and spit,
And then he’d cough up
The game-winning hit.

Benoit filled in nicely,
But then he got sloppy,
Serving a granny
To the mighty Big Papi.

“We need a sure thing;
Get Nathan, doggone it.”
But his heater ain’t working;
He’s got nothing on it.

Dombrowski’s a genius;
Stole J.D. from the ’Stros,
But because of their bullpen,
They got swept by the O’s.

I’d deal to the Devil
Miguel Cabrera,
If only he’d trade me
Mariano Rivera.

 

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Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: Intro

by Stuart Shea

It was 17 years ago today
The home run chase seemed to save the day
But the numbers weren’t what they seemed
Neither Sosa nor McGwire were clean

Here’s regime change for you (if anybody really cares)
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew!

(skin flute solos)

We’re Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Now come and pee into this cup
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Our game is on the up-and-up

Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew

It’s wonderful to be clean
It gives us such a thrill
To know we’ve purged the game of drugs
Except, of course, for adderall
And liquor pays our bills!

I don’t really want to stop the game
But I’d like to make a little claim
What will happen, can you deduce,
When they legalize a “drug of abuse”?

Have you thought about what that will mean
When 300 million folks ain’t “clean”
Like Sgt. Manfred’s smiling Drug-Test crew?