Them M’s

by James Finn Garner

What’s behind the Mariners’ run?
They might catch Houston before they’re done.
The Emerald City is having some fun
While pundits predicted there would be none.
The spotty offense isnt’ scoring a ton–
The run differential this season is 1!
They don’t, I expect, like things overdone
In the Land of Lattes and Male  Hair Buns.

 

Rays, Edgeways

by James Finn Garner

In this weekend’s game ‘gainst Seattle
A collision gave men’s hearts a rattle
Gomez and Bauers
Moaned slowly for hours
After scissoring the ol’ block and tackle.

 

Robinson Cano

by Stephen Jones

First, it’s your pinky
and necessary surgery,
with a rehab of several weeks.

OK — but then, what’s this?

Now I hear controversy —
a PED litany,
that you were using drugs.

(OK, maybe, just maybe
there was some teammate envy
which threw you under the bus.

But you know …
and I know …
that is beside the point.

So, Robinson Cano,
just don’t say it ain’t so —
Cooperstown is listening.)

Bottom line — it’s this:
not only medical attention,
you got an MLB prescription —

and it’s called a suspension.

Now you and your pinky
got an 80-game rest.