Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
With apologies to Mars Bonfire and Steppenwolf
Get your players runnin’,
Head out on the basepaths.
Lookin’ for a Wild Series,
Whoever wins 4 of 7.
Yeah, D-backs and Rangers,
Make the World Series your own.
Score all your runs at once,
And explode the playoff brackets.
Like Malamud’s “Natural,”
You were born, born a wild card.
You can climb so high,
You’ll never wanna die.
Born to win Wild!
Born to win Wild!
Going through stop signs
while running around basepaths
not good idea
If you want to jazz your game up a bit
Try out a new base-running mitt.
X has many styles
Sure to bring smiles
And give traditionalists a fit.
Rangers’ Garcia
belts 11th inning solo shot
baseball immortal
In 2019, playing baseball’s cheaters,
The Nats won the Series on the road.
Still tagged as the sport’s deadbeaters,
The Astros carried the warts of a toad.
In 2023, with Bochy managing heroic,
The Rangers won at Minute Maid.
With Dusty chewing on a toothpick,
The Astros prayed and flayed.
Sure, they have 2017 and 2022,
But 2017 was banged on a trash can,
And 2022 was too good to be true,
For a team that warranted a ban.
Stealing signs left the ‘Stros stained
And unable to win at home.
Perhaps they should’ve remained
Hapless but honest in the Dome.
George Carlin famously suggested,
“In baseball the object is to go home.”
But when your Series ring is contested,
You are banished to aimlessly roam.