Chillinois, You Put Me in a Frozen State
by Hilary Barta
There’s a pall on the breeze in the air
Though there’s ball, for the freeze they prepare
. In Chicago the fans
. make their long winter plans
as they fall on their knees in despair
Chicago, Chicago, That Toddlin’ Town
By David Bellel
Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town
Those Chisox, those Chisox, they play like they’re clowns
Bet your bottom dollar even AJ could have won in Chicago, Chicago,
The town where poor Adam Dunn got shut down
On West 35th Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don’t do on Broadway
Ozzie had the time, the worst time of his life
His bats went dead, unlike his hot-looking wife
In Chicago, Chicago, Joe Girardi’s home town
Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town
Chicago, Chicago the Yanks will toss them around – we love it
Bet your bottom dollar Hughes will lose his blues in Chicago, Chicago,
The town where for six innings even he shut them down
On West 35th Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don’t do on Broadway
Ozzie had the time, the worst time of his life
His bats went dead, unlike his hot-looking wife
In Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Joe Girardi’s home town
A Whimper, Not a Bang
by Hilary Barta
The Cubs and the Sox have done battle
The fans cheered their ‘siders like cattle
. But the final at bat
. Felt tiny and flat,
As A.J. gave up the death rattle
Of course you know, Hilary Barta is a world-class illustrator and pens limericks every day over at LimerWrecks, right? C’mon, get your head out of the sand.
Bradbury-ed in the Standings
by Jim Siergey
From Ozzie, this buzz—
“If my ‘firemen’
give up one more iffy run,
I’ll know it’s because
they’ve been reading
Farenheit 451.”
.
Dunn and Dunn-er
by James Finn Garner
Adam Dunn can’t hit his weight.
In the AL, the DH job
Don’t get done at .168.
A hit man working for the mob
Posting such an average
would end up in a trunk, well plugged.
By even elfin Lillibridge
Is this day-old pot roast outslugged.
With warmer weather, heaven willing,
The Sox’ll wield more potent lumber.
Adam, a tip from TV’s Tom Skilling:
In Chicago, it’s already summer.
Though Alex Rios is glad to see
A “slugger” choking worse than he.
