Ballpark Food
by Todd Pheifer
What’s wrong with these vendors
Loudly hawking their wares?
An arm and a leg for a beer,
And nobody cares!
Of course I can hold off,
But my kids are entranced
With the cotton candy man
Weaving sugary romance.
He comes down the row,
Waving food at eye level.
Away from us, man!
Your food is the devil!
We’ve brought our own, thanks,
Smuggled in Mom’s big pack,
Peanuts and popcorn
And goodies for snacks.
So enjoy the ballpark
And the shifting strike zone,
But if you want to eat there,
Better take out a loan.
Posted 9/28/07
Viva Bazardo!
by James Finn Garner
Let’s give up a cheer for Yorman Bazardo!
He got his first win, didn’t make it look hard-o!
Let the shouts ring out in the Tigers’ ballyard-o!
Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo!
Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo!
Just try staying glum while yelling “Bazardo!”
It’s more fun than sex in a trough full of lard-o!
Bazardo! Bazardo! God help me !! Bazardo !!
Posted 9/17/07
Salute to the Big Man, Dmitri Young
by Stu Shea
How can a man like Dmitri Young
Show such talent at bat?
He’s built like a jumbo marshmallow sundae
Topped by a tiny toy hat.
Of course, Babe Ruth was no Adonis,
And Mike LaValliere made his rounds.
Smokey Burgess, Ernie Lombardi,
Both weighed at least 500 pounds.
But in an age of hGH and “vitamin shots,”
It’s nice to see a guy like Young
Do so well with the physique he’s got.
When he lets it all hang, it’s fat that’s hung.
Posted 9/14/2007
