Browse all poems and songs in the 'Management' Category


Imagined Commentary During a Game

by Stephen Jones

During a game, a commentator —
an ex-ball player — once said:
a manager’s job is hard.

“OK, so you’ve got twenty-five
children in a dugout …
and each one wants to be
treated just so different.

“I mean, it’s hard … I mean,
they all love to play the game,
right? But when you got children,
I mean, grown men who mebbe

“don’t wanna grow up, well,
then the manager’s got to be
part teacher, part mentor …
and also some kind of juggler.

“And all this while skating on thin ice —
dealing with egos and tantrums
and you-name-it?… No, no thank you.
Hey, believe me, I’m glad I got the

“chance to play in big league games —
that’ll never go away — but dealin’
with all that other stuff? No way.”

 



How Cleveland Ended Baseball

by James Finn Garner

“Grandpa, tell me once again
How the Tribe could never lose.”
“Well, kid, in August of ’17
They was playing good, quick and loose,

“When the Boston Carmines came to town–
A purt good team, or so I heard–
Bauer climbed upon the mound
And crikey, a miracle occurred!

“Might’ve been magic, or a curse,
Or blasted divine intervention
But they plum forgot how to lose.
Game in, game out, no apprehension,

“The Tribe just kept on winning!
Like the sun a-rising in the east
When come the final inning,
Francona’s boys just rose like yeast.

“It’s been 15 years or more, I reckon,
Since that team has notched an L.
Never trailing nor choking for a second,
From first of March to closing bell.”

“Grandpa, what about the other teams?”
“They just broke up, one by one.
No league no more, because it seems
With no fair chance, the game ain’t no fun.”

 



Battered Bengals

by Millie Bovich

It’s sad watching Tigers go slumping,
All season they’ve taken their lumping.
So they circle the drain
With their fans all in pain–
Is it time now for manager dumping?

 
Millie Bovich may be the senior regular contributor to Bardball. “I had the pleasure of meeting  All-Star Johnny Pesky when he visited the Detroit office of the FBI where I worked,” she writes, “and met and married a special agent from New York and made a Tigers fan out of him!”



Disparate Thoughts

by Jim Siergey

Did Vida Blue
ever pitch to
Dick Brown?

Did Bill White
ever fight
with Bud Black?

Was Dallas Green
ever mean
to Tyler Houston?

Did Mike Trout
ever dine out
with Tim Salmon?

Did Martinez, Carmelo
ever have Mark Lemongello
for dessert?

 



Tainted Bud

by the Village Elliott

Once the Hall was for those who were studs
Whose names were not dragged through the mud.
Seems no longer the case
With Bud Selig in place,
Sets new precedent with tainted Bud.

 

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