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<channel>
	<title>Bardball &#187; Players</title>
	<atom:link href="http://bardball.com/category/extra-innings/players/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://bardball.com</link>
	<description>Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Tue, 22 May 2012 06:00:38 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
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		<item>
		<title>The Ballad of Scott Podsednik (Sung to “I’m Movin’ On”)</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/the-ballad-of-scott-podsednik-sung-to-im-movin-on/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/the-ballad-of-scott-podsednik-sung-to-im-movin-on/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 May 2012 14:20:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>stu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chicago White Sox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Florida Marlins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Former Teams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kansas City Royals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Los Angeles Dodgers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Milwaukee Brewers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philadelphia Phillies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Seattle Mariners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Songs and Parodies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas Rangers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2445</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Joyce Heiser Came out of high school, stayed in Texas awhile Seems he just couldn’t make it all seem worthwhile He’s movin’ on. He’s movin’ on. Rangers said “So long son, go enjoy the sun” He’s Marlin gone. Minor leagues kept trading, kept cutting him loose Never was the engine, just a little caboose [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>By Joyce Heiser</h3>
<p><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ubT_annvRf4?fs=1&#038;feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>Came out of high school, stayed in Texas awhile<br />
Seems he just couldn’t make it all seem worthwhile<br />
He’s movin’ on. He’s movin’ on.<br />
Rangers said “So long son, go enjoy the sun”<br />
He’s Marlin gone.</p>
<p>Minor leagues kept trading, kept cutting him loose<br />
Never was the engine, just a little caboose<br />
Seven years rolled on, they just moved on.<br />
Finally majored a run in 2000 and 1<br />
Would they keep him on?</p>
<p>Another year came and another deal too,<br />
Milwaukee got him in 2002,<br />
He still moved on, he was there and gone.<br />
Led the league in base steals, tried to keep it real,<br />
But they moved him on.</p>
<p>Chicago was home for a few good years<br />
Got a World Series ring, a girl with bunny ears,<br />
He’s carryin’ on, maybe he’ll stay on.<br />
But another year came, and another ball game,<br />
He packed and was gone.</p>
<p>Up in the mountains, till 2009,<br />
Back to bat that year in the White Sox line,<br />
Another movin’ on, another hometown gone.<br />
Even though he had fans, Chicago had other plans<br />
And they let him move on.</p>
<p>One year with the Royals, still stealing some base,<br />
Let him go to the Dodgers, problems slowing his pace.<br />
Trouble movin’ on, released and on his own.<br />
Try up North, play the West, half-a-year at best<br />
So he’s movin’ on.</p>
<p>Finally landed in Philly, more like Lackawanna<br />
Scranton doesn’t really sound like baseball nirvana.<br />
Will he be movin’ on?  Sing that travelin’ song?<br />
Thirteen teams, eighteen years, Hard to change your gears<br />
And keep movin’ on.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Roger Clemens</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/roger-clemens/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/roger-clemens/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 13:52:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boston Red Sox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Verse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Houston Astros]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New York Yankees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scandals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Toronto Blue Jays]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Stephen Jones Permissible or not There seems to be a drought Of honesty afoot Pitching maybe-perjury Clemens seems for once To be outta his league His domineering stance On the mound not found Now drugs/performance An arguance More finger pointing it seems As ugly truths are exhumed]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Stephen Jones</h3>
<p>Permissible or not<br />
There seems to be a drought<br />
Of honesty afoot</p>
<p>Pitching maybe-perjury<br />
Clemens seems for once<br />
To be outta his league</p>
<p>His domineering stance<br />
On the mound not found<br />
Now drugs/performance</p>
<p>An arguance<br />
More finger pointing it seems<br />
As ugly truths are exhumed</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>End of Mariano: The Poem</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/end-of-mariano-the-poem/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/end-of-mariano-the-poem/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 May 2012 01:36:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[New York Yankees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pure doggerel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2431</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Hart Seely Whiffed Piazza, Harold Baines, Eric Davis, Hardrock Raines. Batters swung and bade goodbye, Carlos Beltran, Russell Dye. BJ Surhoff, Albert Belle, Junior Griffey, Pat Burrell. None of them could solve his tricks. Then the gods sent Jayson Nix. Struck out Nomar, Randy Wynn, Tori Hunter, Tony Gwynn. Mighty bats would disappear, Juan [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Hart Seely</h3>
<p>Whiffed Piazza, Harold Baines,<br />
Eric Davis, Hardrock Raines.<br />
Batters swung and bade goodbye,<br />
Carlos Beltran, Russell Dye.<br />
BJ Surhoff, Albert Belle,<br />
Junior Griffey, Pat Burrell.<br />
None of them could solve his tricks.<br />
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.</p>
<p>Struck out Nomar, Randy Wynn,<br />
Tori Hunter, Tony Gwynn.<br />
Mighty bats would disappear,<br />
Juan Gonzalez, Rusty Greer,<br />
Jeffrey Hammond, Jim Thome,<br />
Julio Franco, Jason Bay.<br />
Silent went their famous sticks.<br />
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.</p>
<p>At 41, not nearly through,<br />
ERA still under two.<br />
Twelve times in the All-Star game,<br />
Sure bet for the Hall of Fame.<br />
Greatest pitcher still alive,<br />
Could have gone &#8217;till 45.<br />
Who among us saw the fix<br />
When the gods sent Jayson Nix?</p>
<p><em>Hart Seely&#8217;s dangerous book, <strong>The Juju Rules</strong>, is available now in bookstores and at Amazon.</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ballad of Rey Ordonez</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/ballad-of-rey-ordonez/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/ballad-of-rey-ordonez/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 May 2012 13:55:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chicago Cubs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New York Mets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Songs and Parodies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tampa Bay Rays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2411</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by The Isotopes Check out the rest of their music and support the Isotopes by visiting http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com. &#160;]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by The Isotopes</h3>
<p><iframe width="500" height="375" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZAoJoPgVG6M?fs=1&#038;feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p><em>Check out the rest of their music and support the Isotopes by visiting <a href="http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com">http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com</a>.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dale Murphy</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/dale-murphy/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/dale-murphy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 May 2012 13:44:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Atlanta Braves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2228</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Charles Ghigna A Brave young slugger, A two-time VP, A five-time Gold Glover Who wore number 3. A role-model teammate Without ego or rage, A clean-living player In a steroid age. Two home runs short Of a trip to the Hall, His legacy waits To fly over the wall. &#160; Charles Ghigna (Father Goose) [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Charles Ghigna</h3>
<p>A Brave young slugger,<br />
A two-time VP,<br />
A five-time Gold Glover<br />
Who wore number 3.</p>
<p>A role-model teammate<br />
Without ego or rage,<br />
A clean-living player<br />
In a steroid age.</p>
<p>Two home runs short<br />
Of a trip to the Hall,<br />
His legacy waits<br />
To fly over the wall.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em></em><em><em>Charles Ghigna (Father Goose) is a poet, children’s author, speaker and nationally syndicated feature writer. He has written more than 60 award-winning books of poetry and been reprinted extensively, even in the ACT and SAT tests.</em></em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Say &#8220;Hi&#8221; To Gary Carter</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/say-hi-to-gary-carter/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/say-hi-to-gary-carter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:05:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Former Teams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Verse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New York Mets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Game Itself]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2214</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Stephen Jones Say &#8220;Hi&#8221; to &#8220;The Kid&#8221; who never missed a beat/bat of enthusiasm &#38; protocol even when his locker room teammates were elsewhere who believed baseball is a game not of dollars &#38; nonsense who never cursed &#8216;cept once in Game 6 the &#8217;86 World Series when on first base he swore &#8220;I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Stephen Jones</h3>
<p>Say &#8220;Hi&#8221; to &#8220;The Kid&#8221;</p>
<p>who never missed a beat/bat<br />
of enthusiasm &amp; protocol</p>
<p>even when his locker room<br />
teammates were elsewhere</p>
<p>who believed baseball is a game<br />
not of dollars &amp; nonsense</p>
<p>who never cursed &#8216;cept once<br />
in Game 6 the &#8217;86 World Series</p>
<p>when on first base he swore<br />
&#8220;I will not lose this damn game&#8221;</p>
<p>heart owning the whole thing<br />
&amp; who maintained a standard</p>
<p>beyond &#8220;behind home plate&#8221;<br />
&amp; something we could all learn from</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Get Off His Lawn!!</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/get-off-his-lawn/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/get-off-his-lawn/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:57:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baltimore Orioles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Boston Red Sox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago Cubs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Colorado Rockies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philadelphia Phillies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pure doggerel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Seattle Mariners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[St. Louis Cardinals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas Rangers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Youth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2397</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Michael X. Ferraro Jamie Moyer, long of tooth, Nabs a win at 49. Never pitched to ol&#8217; Babe Ruth But babysat him one time. Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased &#38; Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Michael X. Ferraro</h3>
<p>Jamie Moyer, long of tooth,<br />
Nabs a win at 49.<br />
Never pitched to ol&#8217; Babe Ruth<br />
But babysat him one time.</p>
<p><em>Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Numbelievable-Dramatic-Stories-Memorable-Numbers/dp/B004JZWL40/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334282166&amp;sr=8-1">Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tased-Amused-Shocking-Poetic-Baseball/dp/0615491049/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334282203&amp;sr=1-1">Tased &amp; Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season</a>.</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Joba: The Poem</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/joba-the-poem/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/joba-the-poem/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Apr 2012 13:59:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[New York Yankees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pure doggerel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2275</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Hart Seely President Lincoln, skip that show! Amelia Earhart, please don’t go! Dillinger, don’t trust that vamp! Joba, please . . . avoid that tramp. JFK, don’t take that ride! Dr. King, sir, stay inside! Julius Caesar, ditch that crown! Joba, jump . . . just don’t come down. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Hart Seely</h3>
<p>President Lincoln, skip that show!<br />
Amelia Earhart, please don’t go!<br />
Dillinger, don’t trust that vamp!<br />
Joba, please . . . avoid that tramp.</p>
<p>JFK, don’t take that ride!<br />
Dr. King, sir, stay inside!<br />
Julius Caesar, ditch that crown!<br />
Joba, jump . . . just don’t come down.</p>
<p>Gorbachev, tear down this wall!<br />
America, free beer for all!<br />
Mariano, please don’t go!<br />
Joba . . . say it isn’t so.</p>
<p><em>Hart Seely&#8217;s new book, </em>The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch<em>, is now in bookstores.  He also runs the essential Yankee blog, <a href="http://johnsterling.blogspot.com/">It Is High, It Is Far, It Is . . . caught</a>.</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Red Sox Furor Over Bobby Valentine Candor</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/red-sox-furor-over-bobby-valentine-candor/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/red-sox-furor-over-bobby-valentine-candor/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:32:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boston Red Sox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Verse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2375</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Stephen Jones How thin-skinned Red Sox players Seemingly are off-stage Dramatically running to defend &#8220;Slighted&#8221; comrade Youkilis It seems nothing in Boston functions Without turmoil And there&#8217;s no such thing as &#8220;just a blip&#8221; On Boston&#8217;s radar So what&#8217;s next in Bean . . . no &#8220;Diva&#8221; Town? Saddle up City of Boston For [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by Stephen Jones</h3>
<p>How thin-skinned Red Sox players<br />
Seemingly are off-stage<br />
Dramatically running to defend<br />
&#8220;Slighted&#8221; comrade Youkilis</p>
<p>It seems nothing in Boston functions<br />
Without turmoil<br />
And there&#8217;s no such thing as &#8220;just a blip&#8221;<br />
On Boston&#8217;s radar</p>
<p>So what&#8217;s next in Bean . . . no<br />
&#8220;Diva&#8221; Town?<br />
Saddle up City of Boston<br />
For a bumpy summer stage</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Phil &#8216;n the Blanks</title>
		<link>http://bardball.com/phil-n-the-blanks/</link>
		<comments>http://bardball.com/phil-n-the-blanks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:32:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Finn Garner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chicago White Sox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[James Finn Garner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pure doggerel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Seattle Mariners]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bardball.com/?p=2387</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by James Finn Garner The Northwest, known for its lumber, Was at a loss to figure Phil Humber Who deftly dialed the M&#8217;s number In shadows, sun and penumber. Could Starbucks have ended their slumber? No matter, their bats were encumbered In a masterpiece, shaded in umber, The perfecto for new ace, Phil Humber]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>by James Finn Garner</h3>
<p>The Northwest, known for its lumber,<br />
Was at a loss to figure Phil Humber<br />
Who deftly dialed the M&#8217;s number<br />
In shadows, sun and penumber.<br />
Could Starbucks have ended their slumber?<br />
No matter, their bats were encumbered<br />
In a masterpiece, shaded in umber,<br />
The perfecto for new ace, Phil Humber</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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