Browse all poems and songs in the 'Players' Category

Flame Thrower

by Hilary Barta

Keep your eye on Cubs thrower John Lackey
He’s a guy who can go a bit wacky
Neither calm nor collected
He’s a bomb, soon ejected
When, sky high, he’ll be blowing his stacky.


Imagined Commentary During a Game

by Stephen Jones

During a game, a commentator —
an ex-ball player — once said:
a manager’s job is hard.

“OK, so you’ve got twenty-five
children in a dugout …
and each one wants to be
treated just so different.

“I mean, it’s hard … I mean,
they all love to play the game,
right? But when you got children,
I mean, grown men who mebbe

“don’t wanna grow up, well,
then the manager’s got to be
part teacher, part mentor …
and also some kind of juggler.

“And all this while skating on thin ice —
dealing with egos and tantrums
and you-name-it?… No, no thank you.
Hey, believe me, I’m glad I got the

“chance to play in big league games —
that’ll never go away — but dealin’
with all that other stuff? No way.”


I Am Some Body!

by Jim Siergey

O, how I wish Destiny put
As catcher, one day, Barry Foote
While on the mound lands
The hurler Bill Hands
I’d pay an arm and a leg to see that

The bullpen is aptly in place
With perfectly named Elroy Face
As one last zinger
We add Rollie Fingers
With Heinie Manush up to bat

As he comes to the plate, there’s a buzz,
The one man with the name to give pause,
Each syllable clear-
Ly a body part dear:
Here comes man-of-parts Tony Armas!


Baez Right By You

by Hilary Barta

How fast can young Javier run?
He’s past you before you’ve begun
Plus reckless, aggressive . . .
Aw heck, he’s impressive
A master of fleet, flashy fun.


For daily limericks on classic cinema (including regular features like “Dwight Frye-Day”), check out Hilary’s hilarious blog, LimerWrecks.

“Joe Dimaggio Done It Again” by Billy Bragg and Wilco


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