The Hall of Fame’s honor and riches
Ron Santo deserved without pitches.
.      But denied for too long
.      Was the man’s well-earned song
By an old bunch of sons of bitches.

.

by Cary Donham

Ron’s a hero to folks diabetic
‘Cause on the field he was super-kinetic
.      Whether diving for balls
.      Or arguing calls
Or clicking his heels so aesthetic

Sale: Storied Franchise
By McCourt in divorce court
Call: 1-800-Bailout

How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!

Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East

It’ll cost you just your job

Ernie: My job?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie: (whispering) My job?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.

Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself.
And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time.
So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….

Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail

It’ll cost you just your job

Ernie: My job?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie:  My job?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!

So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight.
Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.

Franchise disarray
Post-season fingers pointing
Rumor mill working

Franchise scrambling
Truth . . . Boston fog obscuring
Who did what . . . or not?

A manager leaves
Pitchers eat chicken drink beer
Ownership denies

What to remember?
Two championships . . . or collapse?
Or “What’s next at bat”?

How could that squirrel
Send Roy Oswalt squirmin’?
Well, Cardinals eat seeds and
don’t hunt vermin.

When Jose Reyes won the title
it gave us pause to check his mettle.
Which body part did serve him best:
His heart, his biceps, or his ass?

The Blue of the Bums, the Orange of the Jints and the interlocking NY,
The Mets cap was designed to reflect Big Apple baseball historicity.
Why not wear FDNY or NYPD on 9/11? It’s all about New York City.

The Blue of the Bums, the Orange of the Jints and the interlocking NY.
Joe’s dad walked a Brooklyn beat, but still Bud pinned it on Torre.
He walked out when he was dissed by The Boss, so seriously – what’s the real story?

The Blue of the Bums, the Orange of the Jints and the interlocking NY.
The design is now, of course, officially MLB licensed apparel.
It’s yours for just $29.95, but it won’t save you when your life is in peril.

The Blue of the Bums, the Orange of the Jints and the interlocking NY.
Like the horror of that day ten years ago, we’re left to wonder who’s responsible and why

Rod Nelson is the managing editor of The Emerald Guide to Baseball 2011.

Salary caps,
Spending caps,
Baseball caps…
Caps the Mets couldn’t wear with their uniform,
Because they didn’t conform,
Or some crap.
Baseball’s image burned
As Bud Selig took a nap.

Huge savings now with your NY Mets!
It’s as cheap as baseball gets!
You need a slugger? Come on down
Our prices are the best in town!
Starters, bench help, closers too–
We want to make a deal with YOU!
Are we crazy to sell for less?
(Just ask Madoff:  The answer’s YES!)
We need dough before Yankee stars
Hire us to wash their cars.

When Big Z said “I quit”
Jim Hendry jumped for joy–
That’s 18 million dollars he could save.
Of course, Big Z then said,
“I’m just an excitable boy,
And I hope you’ll let me back inside the cave.”