Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Julio Urias
Was all out of gas
Davey Roberts lost his senses
Should’nt have used him from the ‘penses.
Joc Pederson
Lined up a heater and
Hit a homer like a frozen rope
Then had his mouth washed out with soap.
Corey Seager
Was very eager
To have a starring defensive role
Now his team’s two games in the hole.
Max Scherzer had Flores’ number
Had always buzz-sawed his lumber
Then the ump blew the call
Not a checked swing at all
And gave a classic the whiff of a dumpster.
A grey-haired old gent with a cane
Wove a curse for White Sox’s gain
“I’m no magical force,
Just a fan.” Of course,
That’s just how a mage would explain.
Meet ‘Cane Guy,’ The Unlikely Sorcerer Who Helped Save The White Sox
When the Sox started hitting
With no sign of quitting
Dusty thought twice
And brought in some ice
Dusty yanked one Garcia
(his pitcher Luis)
For another Gracia
(Yimi, if you please)
To pitch to Garcia
(The Sox one, Leury)
And Dusty was sure
He’d got rid of his worry
But….
Garcia pitched to Garcia
Bailing out Gracia
But stalwart stood Garcia
Hit the pitch from Garcia
Sent it flying o’er Garcia
The gladdened Garcia
Had saddened Garcia
And this is why we siiiiiiiing….
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
Throw that heater past
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
This game could be your last
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
Put life in that crowd
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
Make all Garcias proud !!!
Like the baby’s proverbial candy
Home plate was stolen by Randy
The shift left third base
A defender-less place
And the pitcher’s stance came in quite handy.
Photo by Steve Helber, AP