by Jim Siergey
MLB All-Beatles-Songs Team
By James Finn Garner, Jim Siergey and Stu Shea
1B I am the Wally Joiner
2B Steve Saxman
SS Ketel Marte My Dear
3B Ken Heltner Keltner
LF Miguel Ma Belle Cabrera
CF Oddibe Ob-La-Da McDowell
RF Darryl Strawberry Fields
C Donny Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
LHP Jeff Little Help from My Friends, Vida Blue Jay Way, Hyun Jin Ryu Know My Name (Look Up the Number)
RHP Brad Penny Lane, Ron Oh Darling, Austin Dear Pruitt, Here Comes the Sun-Woo Kim
MGR All You Need is Torey Lovullo
Blake Snell
By James Finn Garner
Blake Snell
Still pitches quite well
But for that to sell,
You’d have to tell
GMs half-truths to quell
Their fear of wild spells
And early-game bombshells
Which the Cy Young didn’t dispel.
Now he’s in SF,
A place accustomed AF
To an up-and-down staff.
Let’s hope Melvin is deft
or it will be “exit, stage left.”
NL West 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku
by Stuart Shea
Arizona Diamondbacks
The sun shines hottest
On the king of the hill, but
How strong are your arms?
Colorado Rockies
Nobody can hear
The landslide coming until
The season’s ruined.
Los Angeles Dodgers
All your spring wishes,
Your summer smiles, meaningless
Until October.
San Diego Padres
Unlucky last year?
The key crops did not produce.
This is not a test.
San Francisco Giants
Grandson of the Wind
Carries major talent and
Great expectations.
AL West 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku
by Stuart Shea
Houston Astros
Crass-tros, Disas-stros,
Even Garbage-can-smash-stros—
They’re still really good.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, California
It’s always Disney,
To us, anyway…but now,
No longer Showtime.
Oakland Athletics
Neither here nor there—
Big change only bothers those
Who are not in charge.
Seattle Mariners
Young, strong arms, spring’s joy.
Will Gilbert, Kirby, Miller
Get a “Woo Woo Woo”?
Texas Rangers
Now that we all know
About your autumn harvest,
You’d better watch yourself!