Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
ORIOLES
Thousands of tweeters
Will talk of Matt Wieters while
Driving their beaters.
.
RED SOX
The spring mist rises
From the humid Fens again…
Wait, that’s fan B.O.
.
YANKEES
Autumn nears for A-
Rod, Mo, Jeter, Posada,
And, yes, Randy Winn.
.
RAYS
A young rotation,
Some MVP candidates,
A tough division.
.
BLUE JAYS
The center fielder
Needs to break his fall this spring–
Then all will be Wells.
Posted 4/6/2010
By Stuart Shea
BRAVES
No Glavine. No Smoltz.
“Chipper” Jones no longer is.
Where has my youth gone?
.
MARLINS
If a ball club plays
In an empty stadium
Does anyone hear?
.
METS
A pleasant spring, but
No Reyes of sun for the Mets.
FBI? Thyroid?
.
PHILLIES
Is this an old team?
Well, 18 of them were born
Before Reagan’s years.
.
NATIONALS
As Strasbourg links France
and Germany, Steve Strasburg
spans Nats’ talent gap.
Posted 4/4/10
By Stuart Shea
DIAMONDBACKS
Some cacti have more range
Than Conor Jackson in left.
But he can hit some.
.
DODGERS
Poor Jamie McCourt.
All that cash for the players
Where’s her unfair share?
.
GIANTS
A skinny pitcher,
Throwing nothing but BBs
This is his springtime.
.
PADRES
Trade Adrian G?
Better to cut crocuses
Before they blossom.
.
ROCKIES
A sore-armed closer
A thin middle relief corps…
A Street of bad dreams.
Posted 3/30/2010
by Stuart Shea
.
CUBS
Whither the Starlin?
For now, he makes a nest out west
In loverly Des Moines.
.
CARDINALS
Blah de blah de blah.
Pujols is going to be dealt.
When hell is frozen.
.
ASTROS
Old, boring players,
Mediocre announcers,
Fans that prefer football.
.
BREWERS
A Wolf is Riske,
But worth two in the Bush. Bring
Hoffman a Coffey.
.
PIRATES
I walk in the park
So pretty, green, bright, and lush.
Ugh! The Bucs play here.
.
REDS
Ardolis Chapman.
Good for 200 wins or shoulder problems,
It’s up to Dusty.
.
Posted 3/23/2010
By James Finn Garner
.
Because a hitter’s supposed to get hits,
Lou called Miltie a big piece of shit.
With a new gig in Seattle,
Milt’s still fighting old battles,
Showing the world that this shoe still fits.
.
Posted 3/10/2010