Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Atlanta Braves
Without a weakness—
Except for being human
And, thus, changeable.
Philadelphia Phillies
The leadoff hen lays
Or does not lay; she knows of
No other outcome.
Miami Marlins
One more year, no fish.
Can’t be my cheap bait—no way.
God just detests us.
New York Mets
Ah, spring of Butto!
Lucchesi! Bickford! Megill—
Just not Senga. Ow.
Washington Nationals
Land of limousines,
Riding on retreads: Senzel,
Gallo, and Winker.
Baltimore Orioles
July: Orioles
Will refuse to migrate south,
Seeking fall colors.
Boston Red Sox
Yes, every franchise
Is an Evil Empire now.
Game is in its Fall.
New York Yankees
Can the potential
Of overpowering bats
Overpower their age?
Tampa Bay Rays
Lesson of the old:
It takes a genius chef to
Make soup out of straw.
Toronto Blue Jays
An exhaustive search!
Team’s new radio guy is
The TV guy’s son.
It’s no little thing
To be Orion Kerkering.
The Phillies keep on tinkering
And now will test his youthful wing
Not against org players who hit with a “ping”
But big-league hitters whose bats whistle and sing
At any imperfect offering.
Will he be Joker
Or will he be King?
It’s no little thing
To be Orion Kerkering.
Curve—yellow hammer—breaks down hard
Can the pitcher keep it in the yard?
Was it tougher to catch a pitch
From Mickey Lolich
Or to scaffold Ernie Harwell’s last act?
Now a voice of memory is stilled,
But promises were fulfilled.
He won a ring. He did his thing.
Known from Marquette to Flint,
His life’s work a flash, a glint,
A wind wafting through dozens of summers.
Stu Shea, the co-founder of Bardball, is the author of numerous books, including Calling the Game: Baseball Broadcasting from 1920 to the Present.
With thanks to Don Martin
Lester and Chester play pepper with Funderburk
Ginkel warms up with Clyde Kluttz.
Stubby Clapp slaps a grounder past Stirnweiss
That hits Wockenfuss in the nutz.
