Cubs-Nationals, Opening Day 2012
by Hilary Barta
As the management turns a new leaf
The old fans are relearning their grief
As the ace, Dempster’s strong,
But then brace for what’s wrong,
And make plans to get burned in relief.
Hilary Barta is the chief cook and bottle-washer at LimerWrecks.
2012 NL Central Prediction Haikus
By Stuart Shea
CHICAGO CUBS
Behold the savior!
He slouches toward Wrigleyville
And shops at J. Crew.
CINCINNATI REDS
Scott’s Rolen along
At least as much as one “rolls”
On two rusty wheels.
HOUSTON ASTROS
In a great big barn
The inhabitants will smell…
25 heifers
MILWAUKEE BREWERS
The abdication
Means the Milwaukee lineup
Will welcome the Mat.
PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Pretty park, green grass,
Lovely statue, tasty beer,
Clint Barmes at short
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Elders leave the grounds,
Leaving the young ones to play
The eternal game.
“The Opener and the Closer”: Cubs-Nationals, Opening Day 2012
By Hilary Barta
As the management turns a new leaf
The old fans are relearning their grief
As the ace, Dempster’s strong,
But then brace for what’s wrong,
And make plans to get burned in relief.
Two for Ron Santo and the Hall of Fame
By Stuart Shea
The Hall of Fame’s honor and riches
Ron Santo deserved without pitches.
. But denied for too long
. Was the man’s well-earned song
By an old bunch of sons of bitches.
.
by Cary Donham
Ron’s a hero to folks diabetic
‘Cause on the field he was super-kinetic
. Whether diving for balls
. Or arguing calls
Or clicking his heels so aesthetic
No Joy in Mudville
by Jim Siergey
This World Series sure done went screwy
with champs being wild card St. Looey
. Midwest thinks it’s grand
. but Cubs fans sneer and
collectively catcall, “Ah, Phooey!”
