2012 NL Central Prediction Haikus
By Stuart Shea
CHICAGO CUBS
Behold the savior!
He slouches toward Wrigleyville
And shops at J. Crew.
CINCINNATI REDS
Scott’s Rolen along
At least as much as one “rolls”
On two rusty wheels.
HOUSTON ASTROS
In a great big barn
The inhabitants will smell…
25 heifers
MILWAUKEE BREWERS
The abdication
Means the Milwaukee lineup
Will welcome the Mat.
PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Pretty park, green grass,
Lovely statue, tasty beer,
Clint Barmes at short
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Elders leave the grounds,
Leaving the young ones to play
The eternal game.
Two for Ron Santo and the Hall of Fame
By Stuart Shea
The Hall of Fame’s honor and riches
Ron Santo deserved without pitches.
. But denied for too long
. Was the man’s well-earned song
By an old bunch of sons of bitches.
.
by Cary Donham
Ron’s a hero to folks diabetic
‘Cause on the field he was super-kinetic
. Whether diving for balls
. Or arguing calls
Or clicking his heels so aesthetic
Chillinois, You Put Me in a Frozen State
by Hilary Barta
There’s a pall on the breeze in the air
Though there’s ball, for the freeze they prepare
. In Chicago the fans
. make their long winter plans
as they fall on their knees in despair
Flame Thrower
by Hilary Barta
Zambrano’s again under fire
for wanting to early retire
. The combustible hothead
. is just a big knothead
who’d ignite his own funeral pyre
Hilary Barta’s limericks on movies, comics and pop culture can be found every day at LimerWrecks.
Goodbye and Hello
By Stuart Shea
When Big Z said “I quit”
Jim Hendry jumped for joy–
That’s 18 million dollars he could save.
Of course, Big Z then said,
“I’m just an excitable boy,
And I hope you’ll let me back inside the cave.”
