Tyler Colvin Staring up at the Mendoza Line
by Cary Donham
21 home runs, almost a phenom,
now 0-34, staring down a demon
looking up at the Mendoza line.
Was it the maple bat shattered by Castillo
that impaled him leading off third base
that erased his confidence and put him below
The mythical Mendoza line, .200 or .215,
usually reserved for good-field no-hit shortstops,
but for a young slugger, obscene.
The fast ball’s now an aspirin, the slider disappears,
the pitchers’ location always perfect, what happened to the cheers
and to the confidence that made him dangerous just a year ago?
Where did it go?
So back to Des Moines, is that spark gone for good?
looking up at the Mendoza line, as high as Everest,
still remembering that piece of wood
sticking from his chest.
A Whimper, Not a Bang
by Hilary Barta
The Cubs and the Sox have done battle
The fans cheered their ‘siders like cattle
. But the final at bat
. Felt tiny and flat,
As A.J. gave up the death rattle
Of course you know, Hilary Barta is a world-class illustrator and pens limericks every day over at LimerWrecks, right? C’mon, get your head out of the sand.
The Fan Must First Admit He Has a Problem
by Hilary Barta
This season the Cubbies are ghastly.
The team’s overpaid something vastly.
. Against ne’er -do-well clubs,
. these error-prone schlubs
are beaten so bad they’ll end lastly.
The Cub fan deserves our attention.
Their club’s always out of contention.
. Yet they patiently cheer
. as they wait til next year.
What they need is a team intervention.
.
Check out the rest of Hilary’s rhyme and illustration work at LimerWrecks.
A Cub Fan’s Response to Peter Gammons
by Stuart Shea
“It’s a dump, Wrigley Field.” — Peter Gammons, radio interview
Peter Gammons is
A prep-school fool–uncool tool
Well past his sell date
.
A Double Limerick of Cubbie Grief
by Cary Donham
Doug Davis throws nothing but junk,
Zambrano acts like a punk,
. And Quade the boss
. Looks like he’s lost–
Another Cubs’ season is sunk.
Are Ricketts and Hendry still believing
While fans in the bleachers are grieving?
. ‘Cause the team on the field
. Is again getting killed.
Who can blame Ron Santo for leaving????
