National League Central 2010 Haiku Forecasts
by Stuart Shea
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CUBS
Whither the Starlin?
For now, he makes a nest out west
In loverly Des Moines.
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CARDINALS
Blah de blah de blah.
Pujols is going to be dealt.
When hell is frozen.
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ASTROS
Old, boring players,
Mediocre announcers,
Fans that prefer football.
.
BREWERS
A Wolf is Riske,
But worth two in the Bush. Bring
Hoffman a Coffey.
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PIRATES
I walk in the park
So pretty, green, bright, and lush.
Ugh! The Bucs play here.
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REDS
Ardolis Chapman.
Good for 200 wins or shoulder problems,
It’s up to Dusty.
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Posted 3/23/2010
Yorman’s Back!
By Stuart Shea
They couldn’t keep him down!
He’s back for another round.
The guy with the funny name
Has another chance at fame.
Make sure to fill out a brand new dance card-o!
Last night saw the return of Yorman Bazardo!
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Game Update! by James Finn Garner
In his debut with the Astros — “Howdy there, Pard-o!” –
Yorman left the Fish battered and scarred-o
(Though with 10 hits, they might have starred-o).
Our young stud of his dignity keeps a shard-o.
When the ‘Stros play the Phils next, wherever the yard-o,
Yorman will hoist those Phools on their own petard-o!
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Posted 8/20/2009
A Cub Fan Reflects on the Astros
by Tim Souers
I wish the Astros all of the worst.
I find myself happy when they’re not in first.
With his dancing so flirty,
I wish Jose Valverde
Caught a cleat and his ligaments burst.
Published 6/12/09
Tim Souers posts new original artwork daily at his site Cubby-Blue, and is a regular illustrator for the Cubs’ monthly Vine Line.
National League Central 2009 Haiku Forecasts
by Stuart Shea
CUBS
Spring wish, autumn dreams
Green of youth and rust of age
Hope is…Kevin Gregg?
BREWERS
Prince Fielder’s a veg.
The racing sausages can
Rest easy all summer.
ASTROS
Bummer! Bits of sun
Are all that Minute Maid Park
Will see this season.
CARDINALS
Converted Skippy
Will be a sitting pigeon
For one hard slide.
REDS
Screw Dusty Baker!
The Reds have enough talent
To win despite him.
PITTSBURGH
Winter’s not the time
To start rebuilding a house
With no foundation.
Posted 3/23/09
Buy More Bonds
Barry Bonds, Barry Bonds,
Won’t someone please buy Barry Bonds?
The burly man-child at 44
Surely can give something more.
While the Rangers could use his mighty bat,
Texas must have a big enough hat.
In Minnesota he could deliver the goods,
And spend days off prowling the woods.
In New York, the powerful media glare
Would show if there’s any personality there.
Washington would enjoy spinning turnstiles,
And be handy for the start of his perjury trial.
It’s time to move to make the playoffs this year.
Come on! He can give SOMEONE a shot in the rear!
Posted 8/18/08
