The Roger Clemens Trial, So Far
by Stephen Jones
5 weeks & 3 dismissed jurors later
(jurors having fallen asleep
during counsel’s endless
seemingly pointless examination
& then by law let go)
this trial has exceeded boredom
is now treading in dysfunctional limbo
& has left a bitter taste:
day-by-day less truth is being
oberved/served & one could wish
somebody would call off the whole
thing on account “of legal rain”
Roger Clemens
by Stephen Jones
Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot
Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league
His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance
An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed
2012 NL Central Prediction Haikus
By Stuart Shea
CHICAGO CUBS
Behold the savior!
He slouches toward Wrigleyville
And shops at J. Crew.
CINCINNATI REDS
Scott’s Rolen along
At least as much as one “rolls”
On two rusty wheels.
HOUSTON ASTROS
In a great big barn
The inhabitants will smell…
25 heifers
MILWAUKEE BREWERS
The abdication
Means the Milwaukee lineup
Will welcome the Mat.
PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Pretty park, green grass,
Lovely statue, tasty beer,
Clint Barmes at short
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Elders leave the grounds,
Leaving the young ones to play
The eternal game.
Season’s Last Day Oakland Sportswriter Blues
By Stuart Shea
The Cardinals are blanking the Astros again,
And they’ll make the playoffs if the Braves can’t win.
I wish I was there for this wild-card craze,
But I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
Hey! Tampa came back from a 7-0 hole,
Dan Johnson just tied it–right off the foul pole!
I’d love to be seeing the Yankees and Rays,
But I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
Did Baltimore really just walk off the Sox?
And Papelbon pull one more of his rocks?
So Tampa and St. Lou are in. I’m amazed
That I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
It’s cold in this pressbox at Safeco Field,
And watching a meaningless game is the yield.
The action is elsewhere, and it’s one of those days.
I’m stuck in Seattle covering the A’s.
Time To Tell . . . Or Not
by Stephen Jones
Roger Clemens says “I’ll walk”
to clustered eager media
leaving court prosecution balked
warned by a bench previous
Know the rules
don’t fudge the facts
just prove the act
(& steroids run to trivia
rupturing historia)
Now $10 Million of trial prep
taxpayer dollars up in smoke
Clemens amid hollers walks
backdoor to Cooperstown
