Spring Injury Report, 2011
by James Finn Garner
Zach Grienke’s arm is hinky.
Jake Peavy’s feeling skeevy.
Adam Wainwright’s wing ain’t right.
Rich Harden’s asked for pardon.
Brad Lidge is off a smidge.
That goes ditto for Johnny Cueto.
And an inflamed elbow is causing
Pain for Jason Isringhausen.
Thank God for March,
So these great apes
Have one less month
To fall out of shape.
Six Hundred Saves
by Doug Fahrendorff
It took longer than expected
Not surprising
Most things worthwhile do
April and May
Blown saves
No longer
The bellwether of the bullpen
Closer role lost
No excuses offered
Baseball a performance-driven job
He says
Finally against the Cardinals
A groundball to short
Secures save number six hundred
Fans and teammates ecstatic
Proof good guys really can finish first
Let’s hear “Hells Bells”one more time
Thanks, Trevor
The Legacy of Bud Selig
by James Finn Garner
Tons of money for the owners.
Ignorance of player-dopers.
More exploitative contract bids
For dirt-poor Caribbean kids.
A baseball classic for the world
Where U.S. players rarely hurled.
With anti-trust still holding fast,
Small-market teams still finish last.
Now, Milwaukee celebrates this schwanz
With a Selig statue cast in bronze.
Posted 8/30/10
Summer Solace
by Doug Fahrendorff
Not much has gone right
For the Brewers this year.
Contenders? Surely you jest!
The hitting and pitching
Have both been erratic,
The fielding far from the best.
Doug Melvin insists
He’s done what he can
To build a contending team
But fans shake their heads.
A division crown
Seems like an impossible dream.
Still all is not lost.
Despite the record,
Things aren’t entirely black.
We may not be winning
But fans can rejoice:
At least Bob Uecker is back!
Brewer Haiku for April
by Doug Fahrendorff
Escobar at short
It’s tough replacing Hardy
In fans’ affections
Narveson should start
How much better can he do?
No runs given up
Pundits deriding
The Brewers’ pennant chances
Fans expect success
Corey Hart in right
Arbitration winner
Production lacking
.
Posted 4/30/2010
