Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pittsburgh Pirates' Category


Lower the Jolly Roger

By Stuart Shea

These Pirates played with spirit,
Didn’t fear it,
Threw inside,
Didn’t hide,
Played like a team.

Up-the-middle guys made a difference,
And good defense,
But last night they didn’t pitch or hit
For shit.
So endeth the dream.

 



Brewers Collapse in a Nutshell Haiku

by Tom Martin (@brew_haiku)

Game 140. Cardinals 3, Brewers 2
Brewers lose and the
State of Wisconsin says
“Meh, it’s football season”

Game 141. Brewers 6, Cardinals 2
Losing streak over
Fiers, Scooter and Davis shine
Winning streak at one

Game 142. Cardinals 5, Brewers 3
Lohse faces old team
Gives up a couple homers
Crew can’t bail him out

Game 143. Cardinals 7, Brewers 0
In 9th, who’s that passing us?
“Hi Pirates, on your way up!”
We keep on falling

Cardinals 9, Brewers 0
It’s Wei-Chung Wang time
Bernie Brewer to pitch next
Crew raises white flag



All-Star Clerihews #1

by Hugh Briss

Troy Tulowitzki
Must be throwing fits. He’s
The top vote-getter among NL jocks,
Yet plays for a bottom-feeder like the Rox.

Andrew McCutcheon
Walks around touching
Each and every light switch
Cuz his OCD is just a bitch.

Anthony Rizzo,
That’s a big favor to owe.
You’ll have to deliver, by gawd,
Before they uncover Chicago’s election fraud.

Chase Utley
Needs a course in geography.
Instead of Minnesota,
He booked a flight to North Dakota.

Jose Altuve:
Smooth move, eh?
Spend the week away from Houston,
Maybe get some fishing done.

 



National League Central 2014 Spring Training Haiku

by Stuart Shea

BREWERS
Forecast for ’14?
Lots of Braun but little brain.
Enjoy fourth place, guys.

CARDINALS
Yadier Molina—
Buster Posey before the
new Buster Posey.

CUBS
Huh. “Wait til next year”
From a franchise managed by
Weekly profit/loss.

PIRATES
There’s one more Hurdle:
Convert iron not to steel
But to a trophy.

REDS
Time for a Price change—
It was getting Dusty there.
Maybe they’ll win now.

 



Jim Leyland & History

by Stephen Jones

At eighteen he committed himself
to baseball . . . for fifty years.

Detroit should be grateful.
He didn’t fail stadium fans –
their team’s porous bats did
like unidentified blips
on baseball’s radar screen.

Mr. Leyland deserved better.

 

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