Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pittsburgh Pirates' Category


All-Star Clerihews #1

by Hugh Briss

Troy Tulowitzki
Must be throwing fits. He’s
The top vote-getter among NL jocks,
Yet plays for a bottom-feeder like the Rox.

Andrew McCutcheon
Walks around touching
Each and every light switch
Cuz his OCD is just a bitch.

Anthony Rizzo,
That’s a big favor to owe.
You’ll have to deliver, by gawd,
Before they uncover Chicago’s election fraud.

Chase Utley
Needs a course in geography.
Instead of Minnesota,
He booked a flight to North Dakota.

Jose Altuve:
Smooth move, eh?
Spend the week away from Houston,
Maybe get some fishing done.

 



National League Central 2014 Spring Training Haiku

by Stuart Shea

BREWERS
Forecast for ’14?
Lots of Braun but little brain.
Enjoy fourth place, guys.

CARDINALS
Yadier Molina—
Buster Posey before the
new Buster Posey.

CUBS
Huh. “Wait til next year”
From a franchise managed by
Weekly profit/loss.

PIRATES
There’s one more Hurdle:
Convert iron not to steel
But to a trophy.

REDS
Time for a Price change—
It was getting Dusty there.
Maybe they’ll win now.

 



Jim Leyland & History

by Stephen Jones

At eighteen he committed himself
to baseball . . . for fifty years.

Detroit should be grateful.
He didn’t fail stadium fans –
their team’s porous bats did
like unidentified blips
on baseball’s radar screen.

Mr. Leyland deserved better.

 



There is No Joy in Bro-hio

by James Finn Garner

There is no joy in Bro-hio
As Tribe and Reds are shown the door.
Both teams vying for the Wild Card
But reality hit ‘em good and hard.
The Rays, always, a resourceful crew,
And Pittsburgh, you must admit, is due.

An I-71 Series is just a dream
If Dusty Baker helms your team.
With Nick Swisher on the roster,
October glory is hard to foster.
Next March it all begins anew
When balls start smacking into Chin-Soo Choo.

 



Buc-Buc-Buc

By Stuart Shea

Congratulations to the Bucs,
Too many years a team that sucks.
McCutch the likely MVP,
Good pitching and defense are key.
They’ll have a chance for bigger fame,
If they keep Clint Hurdle out of the game.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.