Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
We watched it together, community
We saw it through a black & white screen
No. 44’s smooth delivery
No. 44’s elegant swing
Buckner at the fence
Tom House in the ‘pen
715
Aaron met at the plate
Kissed by his mother forever
Cheers for a black man
in the South
“You can hear Georgia
around the world.”
The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.
Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.
Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.
Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki
After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.
Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”
And if anyone’s looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.
On a beautiful weekend in fall
As everyone broke out their sweaters
And watched colored leaves in thrall
Of the passage of time and the weather
A few teams still played baseball
Underdogs showed up and played better
The Braves, Bums and Mets hit the wall
While the Pods and Phils raced for the cheddar.
Get set for the stories that bawl
About TV ratings — “could be better!”
Ignore this predictable squall
And enjoy the seasonal splendor.
Tomas Perez was on fire,
A Home Run Derby denier.
Acuña was flailing
At sliders prevailing–
Said Tomas, “You’re no Mark McGwire!”
Ronald Acuña Jr.’s terrible Home Run Derby pitcher had MLB fans making plenty of jokes