Good-Bye, Ozzie
By Stu Shea
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
Marriage on the Rocks with Chisox
by James Finn Garner
Ozzie and Kenny fighting at the Cell
(Throw Greg Walker in as well)
First come shouts,
Then comes snarling,
Then comes Ozzie (finally!) moving to the Marlins.
NL East 2011 Haiku Predictions
By Stuart Shea
ATLANTA BRAVES
It’s a New Brave World,
New players, new chief, newspeak,
And an old Chipper.
FLORIDA MARLINS
A Southern poser:
If teams play in the forest
Will anyone care?
NEW YORK METS
Luis Castillo
Will drop pop-ups someplace else
This sunny summer.
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The best rotation?
Either what the Phillies have
Or the earth itself.
WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Despite higher Werth,
From Ankiel to Zimmerman
They’ll still be boring.
27 Fish
By Stuart Shea
.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Baiting his hook with sinkers
Sliders, heat, and curves,
Halladay set down every fish
And he betrayed no nerves.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Snaring every one
And tossing them in his boat,
Halladay did a good day’s work
And earned a right to gloat.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Hunter, Koufax, Robertson,
Bunning, Wells, Buehrle,
Halladay is now in
Interesting company.
27 fish came up.
27 fish went down.
.
Posted 6/8/2010
A Pocket History of the Hanley Ramirez Mess
By Stuart Shea
Hanley Ramirez jogged after the ball.
Hanley Ramirez didn’t hustle at all.
Hanley Ramirez was pulled from the game.
Hanley Ramirez tried shifting the blame.
Hanley Ramirez blew off some steam.
Hanley Ramirez was shunned by his team
Hanley Ramirez heard from the press.
Hanley Ramirez was in a big mess.
Hanley Ramirez, we know, isn’t dense.
Hanley Ramirez came to his sense.
Hanley Ramirez has answered the mob.
Now Hanley Ramirez goes back to his job.
.
Posted 5/31/10
