With the Washington Nine on the rise
They’re the National League’s big surprise
Cole shoulda thunk twice
Before plunking Bryce
Now the Nats have fire in their eyes

Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.

As the management turns a new leaf
The old fans are relearning their grief
As the ace, Dempster’s strong,
But then brace for what’s wrong,
And make plans to get burned in relief.

Hilary Barta is the chief cook and bottle-washer at LimerWrecks.

As the management turns a new leaf
The old fans are relearning their grief
As the ace, Dempster’s strong,
But then brace for what’s wrong,
And make plans to get burned in relief.

ATLANTA BRAVES
So many moons past…
The spring of Chipper gives way
To rust and pallor

MIAMI MARLINS
New house and new name
Young folks up til all hours
The Blizzard of Ozz

NEW YORK METS
They built this Citi.
Now they have to live in it
Short fences or not

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
At the keystone sack
Nothing but questions surface
In this pennant Chase

WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Message from the East—
“Beware high expectations”
Tapped out in Morse code

When Oakland’s Swingin’ A’s were swingin’,
A hard-playing, mustachioed team–
Williams quit after winning two titles.
The skipper never changed or mellowed
In Expos white or Padres yellow.
Old-school grit, speed and defense vital.
Angels in heaven might hear him scream,
“You with the harp!  You call that singin’?”

Paul
Hit a ball
Out for his fifth straight day. No Sox
Bat has got six straight days of park-vacating knocks.

Mitch
Also hit a ball out, which
Put things such that his squad won.
No outs–not a pitch (bar 10 and a half prior innings’ worth)–prior to winning run.

Zack
Didn’t lack
For Ks,
Notching 10 against Rays.

Ryan Howard
Is not a coward.
His hit wound up a big inning
So his squad wound up winning.

Brian
Had to start pitching, as Placido and Ryan
Both got hit by a pitch
On back-to-back plays, that inning. At that point, you must switch.

Carl Pavano
Had to go mano-a-mano
With his opposing moundsman. Carl didn’t notch a hit
But as his squad had 8 in as many at-bats, was cool with it.

Justin Smoak
Was part of a ninth-inning croak.
His squad was up by four
But couldn’t shut Washington’s door.

Ember Nickel blogs at Lipogram! Scorecard!

Fans in New England (the Red Sox Nation)
Are masochists in anticipation.

Yankee fans are clever guys
Two strikes on batter, they all rise
Sophisticated crowd.  Who knew
All of them could count to two?

The Cubby fans are loud and jivey,
Or are they rooting for the ivy?

It’s Baseball Night in Canada, eh?
Do the Blue Jays fight or do they play?

Texas loves the Texas Rangers
To the rest of us they’re total strangers.

Mets fans shout it:
Fuhgeddaboudit!

Good players are what their diamond lacks
But their fans still cheer the Diamondbacks.

The team is shaky in Seattle
The players may but the fans don’t rattle.

Florida fans all like to laze
Watch the game, take in the Rays.

Some fans will cheer and that’s
All we have for the Washington Nats.

Philadelphia’s fandom
Cheers or boos—it’s random.

The bats have finally come to life
but things here still don’t seem right

Uggla can’t get going here
and Linebrink fills the fans with fear

every single pitch he throws
has a fan’s heart coming up his throat

for fear the game will soon be lost
and then a home run ball is tossed

when will Fredi make a move
let Venters close and Kimbrel groove

his fastballs in the 8th instead
so we can try to get ahead?

we can’t beat Philly 2 of 3
and then get smothered by D.C.
makes no sense if you ask me!

Consider the case of Lastings Milledge,
Career on the wane and prospects pillaged.
So many chances, not one of them clicked.
Now playing Triple A out in the sticks.
How cruelly ironic to have that first name,
Success was so fleeting throughout his game.
Drafted and signed with ado and aplomb,
but the years and the game rolled crushingly on.
To what sort of player can you really relate:
The superstars, scrubs — or should-have-been-greats?

ATLANTA BRAVES
It’s a New Brave World,
New players, new chief, newspeak,
And an old Chipper.

FLORIDA MARLINS
A Southern poser:
If teams play in the forest
Will anyone care?

NEW YORK METS
Luis Castillo
Will drop pop-ups someplace else
This sunny summer.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The best rotation?
Either what the Phillies have
Or the earth itself.

WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Despite higher Werth,
From Ankiel to Zimmerman
They’ll still be boring.